NLoT: You Can't Go Home Again

[The Doctor]

"Theta? Koschei?" She said softly.

The voice was that of a younger woman, and both my Lord President the Doctor and my Lord Castellan the Master started at the memories it awakened.

"My Lady," the Lord President asked, almost without realizing the informal way he addressed this other Archivist - in this instant, all he could hear was the gentle voice of his Libby, recovering from one of her intermittent attacks. "Are you... are you all right?"

"It is not Gallifrey, without my Doctor..." She said as she pressed her palms over her eyes. "I cannot stay... somewhere - that they... ridicule him for saving the rest of the worlds - from... what our people had become." She said finally as she pushed her legs to the side and struggled to stand.

The Lord President started to her side, then stopped as her Koschei placed a firm hand on her shoulder, preventing her from rising. He looked away from the m both for a moment. Whatever there is between them, she still loves me... no. She still loves her Doctor. He looked back, eying the stern look on the other Master's face. What sort of sorrow must that cause him?

"My Lady the Archivist," he began.

"Please... just... I'll do whatever you ask of me. Do not... do not take Theta from me again." She was staring at him now, pleading.

"We are..." he began again.

"Please... I spent hundreds of years without even his voice. Please do not make me lose him again." She pushed her Master's hand away, and sank to her knees before him. "I'll even accept the burden if his crimes, if you are so set on punishing someone for them."

"Archivist," said her Master, taking her by the hand and helping her up. "Do not kneel before the Lord President. Never kneel, before anyone or anything."

The Doctor shuddered a little at the ice in the man's voice. The intonations were the same as his old friend's, but the quality... It was as if this Master had been drained of any of the finer emotions, and now only played at them.

"Also, I believe the man is trying to tell us something," Her Master continued. "Pray, allow him to speak."

[Koschei]

"Theta? Koschei?" She said softly.

"Just the Master," he said, squeezing her hand gently. "Oh, and two of the High Council. Their versions of myself and of the Doctor."

He ignored the duplicates and their questions for the moment, concentrating on helping the Archivist sit up and on preventing her from rising too quickly.

"Are you... are you all right?" asked the duplicate Doctor.

Her response caught the Master off-guard. She abased herself, begging for the Doctor's life, offering to do whatever it would take - even bearing his punishment herself - to spare him. Finally, he could take no more.

"Archivist," he said, taking her by the hand and helping her up. "Do not kneel before the Lord President. Never kneel, before anyone or anything."

His voice was cold and hard, but his emotions - and he was sure she could sense them - were in turmoil. Contempt mixed freely with confusion and with something like respect. And even with a touch of jealousy.

"You are a Time Lady," he whispered to her, "and not one of these refugees from a history that failed. Stand proud, for Time is Ours."

He paused for a moment. "Also, I believe the man is trying to tell us something. Pray, allow him to speak."

Standing close by the Archivist, he met the other Doctor's gaze and waited.

[Deleted]

The Archivist's mind felt jumbled, twisted, frayed. Like it wasn't even her own mind. But the only thing pounding through her hearts, was the thought of Thete being in danger. She slowly stood up, even as Kos helped her. She sat back on the edge of the bed, picking at the fabric of the medical gown. She was usually such a composed woman, but the mere thought of danger to Thete... had been the easiest way to send her over the edge.

"Alright... I'll calm down." The woman said as she smoothed out her hair, her fingers tangling in the red depths, trying to make sense out of a seriously twisted situation. Her eyes refocused, as she started to draw on the depths of her cool. "It's alright, Master, I shouldn't have allowed myself to fall to such a level. I need to remain level headed." She said calmly as she let her hands rest in her lap.

There it was again, the slowly growing ice slipping over her heart and mind. She focused herself, and then looked up. "You have something you wish to say, Lord President." She said in a clipped tone.

[Koschei]

Her eyes refocused, as she started to draw on the depths of her cool. "It's alright, Master, I shouldn't have allowed myself to fall to such a level. I need to remain level headed."

"Not to throw our Academy lessons back in your face," he agreed, "but - at this moment - our reason is the only tool we have."

He watched with approval as her expression hardened, her emotions buried under ice. Then he turned his gaze back towards the alien Doctor.

"You have something you wish to say, Lord President." She said in a clipped tone.

The alien Doctor - the Lord President might be easier - hesitated, leaning his weight on the Rod of Rassilion for support. "It is my hope," he said, "that you will be my guests at the Royal Palace tonight." His blue eyes flicked from the Master to the Archivist and back. "The High Council has acquited you both on all charges. Now, we need merely discuss your place in this - to you - new Gallifrey."

"Our place?" the Master echoed, lifting an eyebrow.

"Why, of course," the Lord President answered. "Neither of you need be Renegades any longer. And, although our home is not yet yours, you are welcome here."

"Well," the Master began, casting a quick glance at the Archivist, "there is certainly no harm in speaking. I trust that I answer for us both, when I say that we would be delighted to learn more of this... new Gallifrey."

Another glance at the Archivist. "Don't you agree, my Lady?"

[Deleted]

The Archivist stared at him, that icy barrier slowly building up further. The archivist tightened her hands in the fabric on her legs. Her mind was spinning through a spiral of information, even as he spoke. The Master was right, she needed to remain calm. Her eyes hardened further as he head tilted back to look up at the Lord President.

"I will gladly accompany you to the Royal Palace." The Archivist said as she stood up again, much slower then before. She gathered herself as completely as she could. "I have a question. What is the Specialist doing in this time line? Perhaps her, if anyone, would be capable of understanding what I have been through." She said in a low voice.

"Unless everything was a happy ending, for everyone in this planet." She said a bitter edge in her voice.

Happy endings, they seemed so unreal as of this point in the woman's life. She looked at the Master, there was that odd look in her eyes. "You are right, we should at least hear them out." She stated in a low voice.

But I am not even sure I want a part in this Gallifrey, I'd rather look into what our Specialist is working on. She said mentally to The Master, keeping it to just him and her. Enjoying the strength she had with her psychic abilities.

"I will of course... need a change of clothing. As well as to be allowed to check on the Type 40 model that came with us. She's an old model, and I wish to make sure she is alright." She said as her eyes softened.

[The Doctor]

The Lord President waited as the Archivist of the prime trunk of Time gathered her thoughts.

"I will gladly accompany you to the Royal Palace." The Archivist said as she stood up again, much slower then before.

He smiled at that, attempting to be gracious. It was hard, though. She looked different, but he could see his own timeline's Archivist in her. "I thank you, my lady the Archivist."

"I have a question. What is the Specialist doing in this time line? Perhaps her, if anyone, would be capable of understanding what I have been through." She said in a low voice.

"Unless everything was a happy ending, for everyone in this planet." She said a bitter edge in her voice.

"The Specialist?" The Lord President sounded surprised by that question. "She remains the Keeper of the Halls of Eileythia, and has recently become the lady wife of my lord the Meddler, Keeper of the Orrey of Vertumnus."

He watched, feeling mixed emotions at the look the pair - the unlikely-seeming pair, although that could just be his personal bias - exchanged as the Archivist said: "You are right, we should at least hear them out."

"That is, indeed, all we ask."

"I will of course... need a change of clothing. As well as to be allowed to check on the Type 40 model that came with us. She's an old model, and I wish to make sure she is alright." She said as her eyes softened.

"But of course. I will ask the Keeper of the Aesculum to place the fabricators at your disposal. As to my..." he hesitated, shaking his head. "Excuse me. As to the TARDIS you arrived in? YOu may certainly visit her." A brief, crooked smile. "Properly supervised, of course."

[Koschei]

"Unless everything was a happy ending, for everyone in this planet." She said a bitter edge in her voice.

"Happy endings," the Master echoed, a sneer in his voice. "Happy endings are only found when you make them."

If the Lord President was surprised by his words he gave no sign of it, preferring instead to focus his attention on the Archivist. "The Specialist?" he questioned. "She remains the Keeper of the Halls of Eileythia, and has recently become the lady wife of my lord the Meddler, Keeper of the Orrey of Vertumnus."

"She must have arranged it," the Master laughed. "I doubt the Meddler recognizes the opposite sex."

It was a question that fished for information, because clearly the Meddler he knew had finally hit puberty.

The Lord President chuckled at that. "It did surprise us, yes. Their courtship was largely unnoticed, even by your counterpart from our timeline."

The Master smiled at that. And why shouldn't he? His bait had acquired not one, but two pieces of useful information.

"You are right," the Archivist said, interrupting, "we should at least hear them out."

"Of course I'm right," he said, even as her other statement rang in his mind. ::But I am not even sure I want a part in this Gallifrey, I'd rather look into what our Specialist is working on.::

::I care not what the Specialist - our or theirs - may want.:: His mental voice was like ice. ::But I agree. I have no more interest in rejoining the society of this Gallifrey than I did in rejoining ours. But, for the moment, we have a role to play.::

"I will of course... need a change of clothing. As well as to be allowed to check on the Type 40 model that came with us. She's an old model, and I wish to make sure she is alright." She said as her eyes softened.

"But of course. I will ask the Keeper of the Aesculum to place the fabricators at your disposal. As to my..." he hesitated, shaking his head. "Excuse me. As to the TARDIS you arrived in? YOu may certainly visit her." A brief, crooked smile. "Properly supervised, of course."

"Of course," agreed the Master. Of course it wouldn't be that easy,{/i] he thought.

The Lord President spoke into a communications disk, then smiled. "I fear that I have other Duties to which I must attend. An Aesculapian Initiate will see to your nees shortly." He offered a shallow bow to each of them in turn. "Until tonight, then."

Turning, flanked by the Chancellary Guard, he shuffled towards the door. As he left, he stopped and looked back. "May I say..." he began, then hesitated. "You look... good, togetehr. I hope that you have been as happy with him," - a nod towards the Master - "..as I believe my lady wife has been with me."

Stunned speechless, the Master gaped as the door closed behind the Lord President.

[Deleted]

The Archivist calmly filed away all of this information, as she tried to straighten herself out a bit more. She gave the alien Doctor an askance look for a moment. So it appeared that everything had been sunshine and daisies for everyone here. Everyone got a happy ending it seemed, how... pitiful. The woman's mind was actually quite open to The Master, at that moment. She was even shocked at her own thoughts.

She straightened out her clothing a bit more, even though it was a medical gown. "Wonderful, I'll go use the facilities, as soon as I'm done talking to The Master." She said in a terse voice. She was completely caught off guard by his comment. Nearly stumbling as she went to take a step. How could he, but ... he thought her and Kos? The Archivist, while the Master was stunned, was thrown into a fit of laughter.

A fit of laughter that threw her back on to the medical bed, as she began to literally roll around laughing. She sounded almost crazy, but perhaps that was something she needed finally. The act of completely breaking down. When he had turned and finally left, the door closed, she wiped at her face.

"Oh... that's... just... lovely. Thinks we are a couple." She said as she looked over at The Master, the mirth dancing in her eyes. "Like that would ever work. The woman who refuses to love, with the man who can't even understand it anymore?" She snorted faintly as she tried to stop her laughter.

[Koschei]

Turning, flanked by the Chancellary Guard, he shuffled towards the door. As he left, he stopped and looked back. "May I say..." he began, then hesitated. "You look... good, togetehr. I hope that you have been as happy with him," - a nod towards the Master - "..as I believe my lady wife has been with me."

The Master stared at the closed door, mouth agape. It wasn't often that he was caught utterly at a loss for words, but...

"Really?" the Master asked the door.

There was a snorting, hiccoughing sound from the Archivist. Fully expecting to see the woman breaking down into tears again, he took a step forward. "Archivist..." he began to say.

She fell backwards on the bed, choking and thrashing. It took him a moment to realize that she wasn't having another seizure, she was simply laughing. Almost hysterically.

He crossed his arms, tapping his foot in a bored fashion. "Archivist..." he tried again.

For just an instant, she managed to choke back the laughter. Then their eyes met, and she made a giggling sort of snort. And then she was off again, shaking and rolling with uncontrollable laughter.

It proved to be contagious. And, for the first time in centuries, the Master laughed with sheer glee at the absurdity of a situation, laughed until found himself sitting on the floor, sides aching.

"Oh... that's... just... lovely. Thinks we are a couple." She said as she looked over at The Master, the mirth dancing in her eyes.

He held up his hand in mock appeal. "Don't... don't start..." he gasped out. "I'll... I'll be on... my 27th regeneration... if you keep... that up..."

"Like that would ever work. The woman who refuses to love, with the man who can't even understand it anymore?" She snorted faintly as she tried to stop her laughter.

The Master took a deep breath, flexing the spiracles of his respiratory bypass at the same time. "I don't know about that," he said, stretching his arms. "I was married, and just recently. Quite happily, I think."

He took another deep breath and stretched his neck. "But, this could work for us." He grinned the sort of grin that normally has little birds cleaning it. "This Doctor seems to be as much of a sentimental fool as our Doctor. So... if we pretend to be the loving couple he thinks we are..."

He spread his hands. "Well. He already sees his wife and his best friend in us. We feed his delusions a little more, and let him react to who he thinks we are."

Pulling himself to his feet, he tapped a panel next to the bed and issued a mental command. A tall glass of water wove itself into existence on the small cornucopia. He raised it in a mock toast. "The lie that is easiest to believe, is the one you tell yourself."

[Deleted]

The Master took a deep breath, flexing the spiracles of his respiratory bypass at the same time. "I don't know about that,"he said, stretching his arms. "I was married, and just recently. Quite happily, I think."

The Archivist stopped at that, a bitter feeling crossing the psychic channel. A bitter look in her eyes. She just stared at him now, as she focused and stared at him. He had a point, and they needed to work out exactly what would transpire now. They had to get out of here, she had to make sure Sexy would be alright. She had given that TARDIS to Thete, and she'd make sure it was alright.


He took another deep breath and stretched his neck. "But, this could work for us." He grinned the sort of grin that normally has little birds cleaning it. "This Doctor seems to be as much of a sentimental fool as our Doctor. So... if we pretend to be the loving couple he thinks we are..."

He spread his hands. "Well. He already sees his wife and his best friend in us. We feed his delusions a little more, and let him react to who he thinks we are."

"I'm not sure I'd know how to be a loving couple... I haven't loved anyone but him, I have no idea how to change my feelings of friendship into 'couples love'." The Archivist said as her eyes closed, the sadness washing from her as she allowed herself the chance to remember what it had been like. What it had been like to be in Thete's arms, what it had been like to be a couple with him. "I'm not sure we can manage those sorts of things."


She started to chew on her lip, even as she watched him. His words dancing around in her mind. Could she treat someone else like that? Could she put up such a lie? What was she willing to do, to get things handled? What was she willing to say, or do, or act? She wasn't even sure anymore. She picked at the fabric of the medical gown, a contemplative look on her face now.


"The lie that is easiest to believe, is the one you tell yourself" She echoed after he said it, looking up at him and her eyes closing for a moment. "I'd like to believe the things that were said to me, that were... nevermind... We need to get information, understand the enemy." She said as she let the ice slide into place. "Though who would truly believe it? The Archivist and The Master?"

[Koschei]

He spread his hands. "Well. He already sees his wife and his best friend in us. We feed his delusions a little more, and let him react to who he thinks we are."

"I'm not sure I'd know how to be a loving couple..." There was bitterness, and sadness in her voice. "I haven't loved anyone but him, I have no idea how to change my feelings of friendship into 'couples love'."

She was clearly lost in thought now. And while he didn't bother to touch her mind to check, he could guess where those thoughts were leading. Into darkness.

Into loss and betrayal.

His stock in trade.

"You see," he said, "that is your weakness." He pulled himself to his feet. "Love is a fleeting hormonal reaction. Friendship is an illusion. Never count on it."

He tapped a panel next to the bed and issued a mental command. A tall glass of water wove itself into existence on the small cornucopia. He raised it in a mock toast. "The lie that is easiest to believe, is the one you tell yourself."

"The lie that is easiest to believe, is the one you tell yourself" She echoed after he said it, looking up at him and her eyes closing for a moment. "I'd like to believe the things that were said to me, that were... nevermind..."

"The things that were said, Archivist, are words. Hollow, empty things." He handed her a second glass of water. "Power is real. And you, better than anyone, understand that knowledge is power."

"We need to get information, understand the enemy." She said as she let the ice slide into place. "Though who would truly believe it? The Archivist and The Master?"

He drained the water from the glass. "My Lord President, for one," he said, tossing the glass into the Cornucopia.

The door to the room opened and a young-looking woman, with short blonde hair and freckles, entered. She wore the green and gold robes of the Aesculum uneasily, as if she were still unaccustomed to them. "My... my lady? My lord? I am... am Verinathalinthia, Acolyte of the Hall. If you are ready, I am to take you to refresh and clothe yourselves."

The Master's face softened as glanced at the young Time Lord, and he gave the Archivist a fond smile. "If you are ready, my lady?" he asked gently, offering her his hand.

[Deleted]

"Knowledge is indeed power." The Archivist said in a soft voice as she finished the second glass of water. Her newly regenerated body needed more. She needed more water, she needed more sustenance. "I'll do my best." She said with a heavy sigh as her eyes closed. She seemed to be almost meditating for a few moments, then her eyes opened.

She walked towards him, even as the woman entered. "Alright then, love." She said as a bright smile spread across her face. She was pulling on her memories of the past, how she acted around Thete. She wondered how quickly it would make Kos uncomfortable. Master, not Kos. He's The Master... She whispered to herself as she built herself up for this.

She wrapped her hand more tightly in his, and leaned in towards him. Acting as people would expect her too with someone she cared deeply about. "I'm ready to go, we should get some clothing... and then food would be wonderful. I'm quite hungry... new body and all that." She said with a smile playing across her lips.

[Koschei]

The door to the room opened and a young-looking woman, with short blonde hair and freckles, entered. She wore the green and gold robes of the Aesculum uneasily, as if she were still unaccustomed to them. "My... my lady? My lord? I am... am Verinathalinthia, Acolyte of the Hall. If you are ready, I am to take you to refresh and clothe yourselves."

The Master's face softened as glanced at the young Time Lord, and he gave the Archivist a fond smile. "If you are ready, my lady?" he asked gently, offering her his hand.

She took his hand, a bright smile on her face. "Alright then, love."

Verinathalinthia averted her eyes, blushing at such a flagrant display of public emotion.

She wrapped her hand more tightly in his, and leaned in towards him. "I'm ready to go, we should get some clothing... and then food would be wonderful. I'm quite hungry... new body and all that." She said with a smile playing across her lips.

"But of course. Believe me, I understand the needs of a new Incarnation quite well." He looked up. "Lady Verinathalinthia? We are ready."

---

The interior of the Aesculum was a great Conservatory, filled with plants and small animals, and with the scent of flowers and of growing things. The sloping glass exterior wall of the Aesculum cast gleaming shafts of sunslight through the foliage to glisten in golden flakes on small streams that gurgled and sang along the sides of pathways that wound through copses of trees and around garden plots and past the small cottages that dotted the grounds.

"I had forgotten," said the Master, "how particularly lovely the Aesculum is."

"How could you..." Verinathalinthia began, then blushed as she clapped her hand to her mouth. "I... I'm sorry. I forgot. You... the both of you... are from the Gallifrey that was destroyed?"

"Yes, we are."

"How terrible." She hesitated. "Is it... that is, I've heard that the Doctor - not the Lord President, but your Doctor - did it. Is that... true?"

The Master shrugged. "That is how I understand it, yes." He glanced at the Archivist. "Have you heard differently, my dear?"

She looked striken. "But... why?"

"We were at war," the Master said. "No, we had lost the War."

She looked horrified, and the Master shrugged again. "I assume it was some grand gesture of defiance, a final act to deny the Daleks..."

"Daleks?" She sounded puzzled.

"Yes. The Daleks had..."

"What," she asked, "is a Dalek?"

[Deleted]

The Archivist followed after him, almost silently now. Her eyes cast around, as she took in the appearance of their home long lost. Her eyes dancing with mirth, as they passed through hallways she had not seen in such a very long time. Then they were in the beautiful Aesculum, and her breath caught in her throat.

"It's amazing... I had forgotten as well..." She said in an awed tone. Then she snapped out of her reverie at the plethora of questions asked by the young woman. Something inside the Archivist, had changed. To The Master, who held her arm, if he looked, he could see that there was a twisting new darkness inside of her.

Something not unholy like a corrupted file, spreading the darkness of the universe throughout the Time Lady. As the younger Time Lady asked what a Dalek was, The Archivist seemed to move fluidly away from The Master. "You wish to know what a Dalek is?" She said in a sweet voice, her eyes becoming hooded for a moment. There was something akin to maliciousness there for a moment. Then she took a calming breath and replaced it with the need to share knowledge.

This was her purpose, to gather intelligence and share it. She reached out, and just barely brought her fingertips to almost touch the young woman's. "Think really hard, something so dangerous... that it would cause the Time Lords to enter a war... a war so great that it would be useful to sacrifice the entire race... because they had become as bad the creatures they fought. Think really hard, if you actually want to know what these creatures are. Because I can show you." The Archivist said in a low voice.

If the girl so much as whispered that she wanted to know, The Archivist would happily share that information with her.

[Koschei]

"What," the young Time Lady asked, "is a Dalek?"

Now that was an interesting response.

He'd been prepared for shock. Horror. Even contempt. But not baffled ignorance. And it was genuine ignorance. He was convinced of that.

The Archivist's fingers slid from his hand, leaving behind a trace of darkness and malice. "You wish to know what a Dalek is?" She said in a sweet voice.

"I assume they are something from the Prime branch," Verinathalinthia said. "Some power that could threaten Gallifrey. But..." Her forehead wrinkled in thought. "I've never heard of them. What..."

The Archivist's fingers ghosted over the tendons of her hand, the heat from her fingertips caressing her. "Think really hard," she murmured, voice gentle. "something so dangerous... that it would cause the Time Lords to enter a war... a war so great that it would be useful to sacrifice the entire race... because they had become as bad the creatures they fought."

Verinathalinthia stared at the Archivist, almost hypnotized by her words.

"Think really hard, if you actually want to know what these creatures are. Because I can show you."

"I..." the young Time Lady started to say. She hesitated, licking suddenly dry lips. "That is... I..."

The Master's hand closed around the Archivist's wrist. "Now, now, my dear," he said, drawing her hand away with an unyielding grip, "the War is past. What would we gain, inflicting such horror on our gracious host?"