A Very Merry Unbirthday [ Fitz / Iris IX ]

[Deleted]

"Oh!" Iris began, giving a shrug of her shoulders, as she led them deeper into her TARDIS. "Folks there wear anything from fuzzy slippers, pajamas and a bathrobe, to an Armani suit - and anything and everything in between...Met a lovely chap there, once - name'a Arthur. Said the Earth'd been destroyed by Vogans, or some nonsense - bit mad, that one," Iris added with a smile. "Nice, though. Terrible fashion sense, too: he'd actually chosen to wear a towel as a scarf - can you just imagine?"

Fitz laughed. "I promise not to wear a bath towel as a scarf, I wouldn't want to embarrass us."  An Armani suit on the other hand, that he might try on even if he never got to go anywhere where he could wear such a nice suit again in his entire life. It would put every other badly tailored suit he owned to shame. This was going to be a day that he felt like he could get away with wearing anything.  Anything except nothing. Though a birthday suit to a birthday party was fitting, if an obvious pun.

"Anyway..." Iris rambled on as they neared the TARDIS' wardrobe. "This place is magnificant! It was created by some go-getter, entrepreneurial Time Lord, literally at the edge of the Universe. The whole place is enclosed in a glass-like dome, from which we'll be able to actually witness the End of the Universe - and then, the Time Turbines drag the whole place back to watch it happen all over again, ad nauseum. It's really quite marvelous - 'cept if you work there, I suppose. One might get tired of seeing the End of the Universe over, and over, and over..."

Fitz walked easily by her side, feeding off of her excitement. "I can't wait to see it. It's good you know? Making a party out of it, if the universe is going to go out, that's what it should go out with, a big party. A bit of dinner. If you have to go out at all, that is. This Time Lord that runs the place, he's alright?"

And then, she stopped walking in front of a rather impressive set of dark, aged wooden doors. Flashing a mercurial smirk at Fitz, Iris leaned forward, grabbed the double doors by their handles and grandiosely pulled them open.

He looked down at Iris, catching her look and returning it with a curious grin. Peering over her head as she opened the doors, Fitz whistled to himself as she opened the doors.

Inside was an impeccibly clean, shiny, white room. The floor and the walls - and even the ceiling - looked to have been carved from white marble. At the far end was a series of mirrors, arranged in a similar fashion to what one might find in the dressing rooms of very posh department stores, where one could admire themselves in their chosen attire. And all along the adjoining walls were racks, and racks, and racks of various clothes.

He looked towards the walls and walls of racks upon racks of clothing. "Only the best for Iris and her friends, I can see," he said, clearly impressed. "It's like you fit in the entire insides of Selfridges from its entire run!" With a wink he added, "I hope you've got a blokes section in here somewhere."

Curiosity got the better of him and he went wandering around the room, pulling things at random just to see what they were. At one point he stood looking at a black military cut coat with an odd look before shoving it back. The next thing he grabbed was a doublet and then a leather coat which he gave a longing pat before returning it to the rack. Today he was going to be a rock star, an adventurer, an investigator...saver of worlds and the lovely ladies that inhabited them. All the things that he'd though he should ever have been and the things that he'd actually turned out to be. Well, except an insurance agent. He was going to quit, he decided, for the tenth time. Today, on his unbirthday, he was going to be Fitz Kreiner.

"Is there an organisation system I'm not aware of?" he said, turning back to Iris. As he did, his hand landed on something with texture that drew his eye back down to see what it had landed on. Cashmere.  A white cashmere scarf. Amused, he draped it around his neck. "Nicest towel I've ever seen."

[Iris Wildthyme]

"Only the best for Iris and her friends, I can see," he said, clearly impressed. "It's like you fit in the entire insides of Selfridges from its entire run!" With a wink he added, "I hope you've got a blokes section in here somewhere."

"Oh, just a few favorites from my favorite shops," Iris said nonchalantly, as if her extensive wardrobe were no big deal. Truth be told, it was probably even more fabulous than the Doctor's - he never seemed that much into 'fashion', anyway.

"And, the gents' is over there," Iris added, pointing off to the right portion of the room. The 'ladies' was to the left, and then, anything that could feasibly be either was more towards the center. Seemed logical, and it was fairly easy for the usually drunk Time Lady to remember - though, she did, of course, forget from time to time.

No one's perfect, you know.

As Fitz began seeking out what would likely be his first of multiple costume changes for their little unbirthday extravaganza, Iris sort of just stood back and watched, quite happily, as Fitz began going through some of his many, many clothing options. She smiled almost giddily and stood near a floor-length mirror, while he clearly enjoyed himself, no doubt imagining himself in each and every outfit that stood out to him on the racks upon racks of clothing.

Now, this was fun - and, they hadn't even gone anywhere, yet!

"Is there an organisation system I'm not aware of?" he said, turning back to Iris. As he did, his hand landed on something with texture that drew his eye back down to see what it had landed on. Cashmere. A white cashmere scarf. Amused, he draped it around his neck. "Nicest towel I've ever seen."

"Sure is, Luvie - birds to the right, gents to the left, and then everything in between is, well... in between, like that umm... 'towel', as you called it."

She grinned, knowing full well that Fitz could tell the difference between a towel and a cashmere scarf.

"Looks good on you," Iris declared. "But, what to pair with it...? Hmm..."

She looked at him as if she were an art student analyzing a piece in a museum.

[Deleted]

"Sure is, Luvie - birds to the right, gents to the left, and then everything in between is, well... in between, like that umm... 'towel', as you called it."

"Sorry, I bet you told me while I was standing with my jaw hanging down in shock," he said, chuckling. "It's a -nice- towel," he said, clearly having a mind to keep it. At least temporarily.  He petted at it as if it were a kitten.

Looks good on you," Iris declared. "But, what to pair with it...? Hmm..." She looked at him as if she were an art student analyzing a piece in a museum.

"Let's give a few things a go, shall we?"

Fitz wasn't shy about his body under -most- circumstances and seemed to have no problem at all getting his kit off to try on some of the clothing he'd set aside. This would probably come as less than no surprise to Iris, nor would any of his more outlandish choices. After all when she'd first met him he'd had a leopardskin suit on. Looking over some of the clothing from his home era he wondered how he'd ever managed to wear any of it without laughing, but then reminded himself that he was fabulous and undoubtedly had made his corduroy trousers look amazing. Plus leather never seemed to go out of style. 

Having an entire wardrobe at his disposal apparently allowed him to be both a giant ham and to pretend to be the center of attention. Being fairly tipsy meant he was not above picking up props or being incredibly silly. In the end though, he turned to Iris and winked at her.

  "How's this?" he asked, draping the scarf around himself. "All of a sudden I feel like James Bond awaiting his femme fatale."

[Iris Wildthyme]

"Let's give a few things a go, shall we?"

"Let's," Iris eagerly replied with a rather large grin. "And, feel free to go nuts," she added, though she really didn't need to encourage Fitz.

While Fitz started gathering pieces of clothing and accessories, the Time Lady popped off to the women's side of the wardrobe and eventually found something suitable for dinner - if, perhaps, a bit dated.

She liked it, anyway - besides, it was comfortable, and the black leather fit like a dream.

Probably made her bum look good, too.




Once Iris had settled on her outfit and stuffed herself into it, she meandered back on over to where Fitz now stood, looking all dashing and whatnot and still holding onto that lovely cashmere scarf. He seemed awfully fond of it... Maybe she'd let him keep it as part of his un-birthday present...?

... he turned to Iris and winked at her. "How's this?" he asked, draping the scarf around himself. "All of a sudden I feel like James Bond awaiting his femme fatale."

Iris smirked and replied, "Lookin' good, Luvie. And, I suppose I am feeling a bit like a femme fatale - though, I suppose I could say that every day..." she quipped and gave her shoulders a slight shrug as she considered the truth of what she'd just said - she'd always been a bit of a naughty girl... It was her 'thing', she supposed.

Iris then took a few steps closer to Fitz so that she was standing directly in front of him, and then she reached up to adjust the scarf.

"There. Even better," Iris satisfactorily declared. "Fit for dinner at the finest restaurant in the universe, I daresay!"

"Now... How about one more glass for the road, as they say, and since we must've arrived by now, we'll go out there and have the maitre'd show us to our table, eh?"

Iris was always ready for another glass...

[Deleted]

Iris smirked and replied, "Lookin' good, Luvie. And, I suppose I am feeling a bit like a femme fatale - though, I suppose I could say that every day..." she quipped and gave her shoulders a slight shrug as she considered the truth of what she'd just said - she'd always been a bit of a naughty girl... It was her 'thing', she supposed.

Fitz whistled. That was one great outfit and Iris was looking very fetching in it. He couldn't help himself, he found his eyes darting here and there and back to her face as she began to speak to him. He wondered if it looked as good from the back as it did from the front. "Right back at you. We're going to be the best dressed people at this place. Hands down."

Iris then took a few steps closer to Fitz so that she was standing directly in front of him, and then she reached up to adjust the scarf.

"There. Even better," Iris satisfactorily declared. "Fit for dinner at the finest restaurant in the universe, I daresay!"

Fitz watched Iris's clever hands as she plucked his scarf into an order more to her liking and smiled down to her bemused and quite enjoying her attention. "I feel spiffing, a birthday boy wrapped like a birthday present. And you look -marvelous- darling.  But as long as I'm fit enough for you then I'd say I'm in better shape. Bet you probably much higher standards than suit jackets required, no doubt."

"Now... How about one more glass for the road, as they say, and since we must've arrived by now, we'll go out there and have the maitre'd show us to our table, eh?"

"Fab," he rubbed his hands together, grinning. "I could go for one for the road before this splash out starts! Maitre'd! So posh, I hope I remember which fork to use. You'll have to remind me. Let me get my proper manners out." 

He gave her a little bow and put his arm out to her. "Shall we?"

[Iris Wildthyme]

"I could go for one for the road before this splash out starts! Maitre'd! So posh, I hope I remember which fork to use. You'll have to remind me. Let me get my proper manners out."

Iris grinned winningly and then confidently advised about the forks, "Don't worry, Luvie -- it's easy. You just start from the outside and work your way in."

He gave her a little bow and put his arm out to her. "Shall we?

Chuckling at his little bow -- she was quite tickled, actually -- Iris gave Fitz a nod of ascent and took his arm, saying, "Yes, lets!"

She led him back the way they'd come, to her TARDIS' console room, where those lovely upholstered mahogany chairs waited for them -- along with the rest of that bottle of the Wine Lords' wine.

Iris stopped briefly at the console and made sure it was taking them to The Restaurant at the End of the Universe, as planned, and then she walked back to the chairs and poured them another round.

Before sitting back down, Iris gave a wide, celebratory smile and lifted her glass to clink against Fitz's and proclaimed, "To the Unbirthday Boy -- cheers!"

[Deleted]

Iris grinned winningly and then confidently advised about the forks, "Don't worry, Luvie -- it's easy. You just start from the outside and work your way in."

"Words to live by," he said with a smile hovering on his face. The wine was making him feel pleasant. Warm and rather buoyant. Normal wine made usually made him maudlin, but by measure this stuff was far better. Good company helped, he thought. Different than out drinking with the boys, that was for sure. Then again, he was sure Iris could drink all of them under the table. A long table. In a row. The thought made him smirk.

Chuckling at his little bow -- she was quite tickled, actually -- Iris gave Fitz a nod of ascent and took his arm, saying, "Yes, lets!"

She led him back the way they'd come, to her TARDIS' console room, where those lovely upholstered mahogany chairs waited for them -- along with the rest of that bottle of the Wine Lords' wine.

"This is a bit of alright," he said, settling down, watching her as she puttered around the console. Every time Fitz got the notion to try to have a normal job alongside what could arguably be described as his mission, it went like this. He'd get to the point where he'd give it up because it was impossible to juggle. Then he would find that as he delved too far in the other way, the weirdness and strangeness...which was actually his normal...would get to him and he'd feel a need to escape. Or try to do both. It was a cycle. He'd find some excuse and way to shoe horn it until he collapsed. It had been some time since he'd had a real day off or vacation. And then Iris had showed up in his flat. Saving him from take-out dinners and false pretenses and feeling under the gun. She was good like that. He really ought to find something to return the favour, but he had no idea what she might like. Aside from a nice bottle of gin.

...she walked back to the chairs and poured them another round.

Before sitting back down, Iris gave a wide, celebratory smile and lifted her glass to clink against Fitz's and proclaimed, "To the Unbirthday Boy -- cheers!"

"Ta," he said, taking the glass and reaching out to touch hers. "Just do me a lemon and don't ask how old I am," he said with a slightly rueful shake of his head. He drank some of the wine. "I'm old enough to know better but still young to care."

[Iris Wildthyme]

"Ha! But you aren't anywhere near as old as I am, Luvie," Iris teasingly pointed out. "But, don't you worry -- I'll be a perfect lady and I'll never ask. Scout's honor," she vowed, holding up three fingers in something akin to the Girl Scouts' salute before taking a long sip from her glass.

Course, she'd never been a Girl Scout, but... that was beside the point.

Just as their glasses were nearly empty, the TARDIS materialized near the entrance to the Restaurant at the End of the Universe. It fit right in with the other vehicles... Sort of. The double-decker London bus rather looked quite at home among other TARDISes, DeLoreans, the odd YT-1300 light freighter, and other various spacecraft.

Now, just like a TARDIS, Milliways -- the restaurant, that is -- extended an oxygen bubble for quite some distance beyond the building's exterior and car park, enabling their patrons the luxury of not asphyxiating on their way indoors. Quite good for business, and all that.

The sky around them was a beautiful cacophony of colors and lights -- it was, after all, the end of the universe and matter, and due to how the restaurant had been placed in a bubble universe, right on the precipice, patrons could watch it end over, and over, and over... so long as they'd made reservations, that is.

Stepping out of the TARDIS, Iris marveled at the sight. Sure, she'd seen it before, but it never failed to take her breath away.

"Oh, Fitzy! Just look at it!" she raved, waving her arms about, gesturing at the sky around them. "Gorgeous!"

And then, she turned and locked her TARDIS with the press of a button on her key fob and thrust a winning grin at her companion.

[Deleted]

"Ha! But you aren't anywhere near as old as I am, Luvie," Iris teasingly pointed out. "But, don't you worry -- I'll be a perfect lady and I'll never ask. Scout's honor," she vowed, holding up three fingers in something akin to the Girl Scouts' salute before taking a long sip from her glass.

"You sure are a perfect Lady, Scout or not," Fitz said with a twitch of a smirk after she made a solemn vow. She was helping him to preserve the fact he actually had no idea how old he was anymore. Not exactly. Even deciding when to count was iffy. His license gave an appropriate enough age and the right date and that was good enough. If he went by the birth certificate...not even really his...he was a well kept 77, a generous number.

Just as their glasses were nearly empty, the TARDIS materialized near the entrance to the Restaurant at the End of the Universe. It fit right in with the other vehicles... Sort of. The double-decker London bus rather looked quite at home among other TARDISes, DeLoreans, the odd YT-1300 light freighter, and other various spacecraft....Stepping out of the TARDIS, Iris marveled at the sight. Sure, she'd seen it before, but it never failed to take her breath away.

Fitz put down his empty glass a few seconds after feeling the TARDIS land. He gave Iris an expectant grin and stood up, glad to find his legs still firmly under him. He took a step and then adjusted his statement: firmly enough. Walking alongside Iris, he followed her out of the bus. The first thing he saw was that they'd got valet parking right near the entrance to the restaurant itself. It was a cheerful enough looking place, at least judging by the outside. Then he saw that they were parked right next to some very familiar looking ships. One in particular, a circular slab-wedged ship caught his eye. He was about to ask something about it when Iris's voice called his attention upwards.

"Oh, Fitzy! Just look at it!" she raved, waving her arms about, gesturing at the sky around them. "Gorgeous!"

And then, she turned and locked her TARDIS with the press of a button on her key fob and thrust a winning grin at her companion.

He stood a moment looking up at the shimmering arc of colours competing for his attention, a slow smile forming on his face. He couldn't help thinking that if this was the end of the universe, then it was really beautiful. Before the wine had a chance to make him existential about it, he turned back to Iris. She was giving him the biggest smile he'd seen in a long time. "Really, really gorgeous, he agreed, eyes sparkling with latent mischief. They were dressed to the nines and tens and there was no way this dinner was going to get them at sixes and sevens. "I'm starving...make sure I don't fill up on bread." He went over to open the door for her like a proper gent.

[Iris Wildthyme]

Iris smirked and shook her head at Fitz's comment about not letting him fill up on bread, and then she let him hold the door for her while she led the way inside.

"Don't worry, Luvie -- I'll keep an eye out for you," she jovially assured him.

The restaurant was an architectural wonder. It seemed as if it were even bigger on the inside -- not to the same scale as a TARDIS, but still... Every table had a view out the window, and the whole restaurant slowly rotated 'round in a circle -- sort of like an orbit -- around the End of the Universe, so that everyone within could watch it over, and over, ad nauseam. Though, such a view as the End of the Universe never got old.

They were led to a table for two by a maître d' in a crisp tuxedo, who handed them a couple of menus, along with the wine list.

"Enjoy your meal -- may it be the most fantabulous you've ever had," he graciously told them, and he offered a bow from the waist. "Unless, of course, you've already been here before," he added with a wink before he left them to figure out what they would like to order.

"So! See anything that strikes your fancy?" Iris asked Fitz as she began to pour over the extensive menu.

[Deleted]

Iris smirked and shook her head at Fitz's comment about not letting him fill up on bread, and then she let him hold the door for her while she led the way inside.

"Don't worry, Luvie -- I'll keep an eye out for you," she jovially assured him.

That was nice to hear, she probably didn't know how much he could appreciate someone looking out for him. Even if it was just to make sure he didn't make a social pariah out of himself. Usually he was the one looking out for other people, because he was like a bad penny. Kept turning up. Or a cat that kept coming back, only that wasn't a very good metaphor. Probably just a drunken one. He always thought of himself more as a golden retriever type. But what exactly was he retrieving? He shook his head to stop his drunken meandering thoughts and followed her inside and whistled as he looked around, nodding to himself.

"Cool, very cool," he said, appreciatively.

The whole place was like it was on a big record player or something, turning around so he could see everything. Or everything ending. What a strange idea, to sit and watch the universe end. But then you went back and you knew it had happened, the universe, your life. It seemed a fitting sort of joint for him to celebrate his birthday. He nodded to the host and maître d and then took a seat across from Iris, still smiling. She was beautiful, this place was out of this world. He was being spoiled for all his hard work. He had no idea how he was going to thank her, but he'd think of something.

"Enjoy your meal -- may it be the most fantabulous you've ever had," he graciously told them, and he offered a bow from the waist. "Unless, of course, you've already been here before," he added with a wink before he left them to figure out what they would like to order.

"Ta," he said, chuckling. Fantabulous. "Fab!" He sat down and fussed with the thick cloth napkin a moment. "Iris, you still do your lounge singer routine?" he asked, pulling the menu closer to him. "Or you have some new hobbies now?" He unfolded the menu and quietly boggled to himself over the myriad of choices. He had no idea what to get but felt if he asked for chips and fish he might get put at the curb.

"So! See anything that strikes your fancy?" Iris asked Fitz as she began to pour over the extensive menu.

"Yeah, I do," he said, a smile on his face as he looked at her and then around the restaurant. "Oh you mean on the menu, right right," he added in a teasing way, looking back to it with tipsy scrutiny and affected seriousness. "Pretty sure a place like this can cook stuff I've never heard about before, so I'm open to suggestions. Dish of the Day sounds pretty good. Crown roast lamb and mint...seared Zorkfish fillet over rice pilaf, pair with apple-beet baby goat salad. Baby goat...must mean cheese? Amiglion cow any cut and winter vegetables. Wonder what planet's winter," he mused, tapping his hands in a distracted chord progression as he tried to pick the nicest thing he wanted to eat. "What do you like Iris?"

[Iris Wildthyme]

"Iris, you still do your lounge singer routine?" he asked, pulling the menu closer to him. "Or you have some new hobbies now?" [Fitz asked as he] unfolded the menu.

"Goodness, me!" Iris exclaimed before bursting into giggles. Quickly, though, she raised a dainty, well-manicured hand up to cover her lips. Slowly, the giggling subsided -- mostly.

"Oh, no -- I haven't done that in centuries!" The reminder of days gone by was quite amusing to the Time Lady -- once upon a time in her second incarnation, Iris did a bit of lounge singing in the 1960s under the alias 'Brenda Soobie'. It had seemed like a good idea at the time...

As for new hobbies... Well, Iris had lately been bouncing all over the universe, during all sorts of different time periods, that she hadn't really had any time to develop any new hobbies.

She was really quite excellent at drinking, though -- a pro at getting 'pissed'; though, that wasn't necessarily something that was socially impressive... Maybe she should just change the subject.

"So! See anything that strikes your fancy?" Iris asked Fitz as she began to pour over the extensive menu.

"Yeah, I do," he said, a smile on his face as he looked at her and then around the restaurant. "Oh you mean on the menu, right right," he added in a teasing way, looking back to it with tipsy scrutiny and affected seriousness.

Iris shot a slow, smug smirk across the table and muttered, "Charming."

"Pretty sure a place like this can cook stuff I've never heard about before, so I'm open to suggestions. Dish of the Day sounds pretty good. Crown roast lamb and mint...seared Zorkfish fillet over rice pilaf, pair with apple-beet baby goat salad. Baby goat...must mean cheese? Amiglion cow any cut and winter vegetables. Wonder what planet's winter," he mused, tapping his hands in a distracted chord progression as he tried to pick the nicest thing he wanted to eat. "What do you like Iris?"

Iris delighted in Fitz's reaction to the exotic menu. Not everyone could properly appreciate such widely-varied and very alien offerings, after all.

"Mmm..." she uttered thoughtfully. "I think I'd steer clear'a the baby goat -- I don't think th'menu means quite what you think it might..." the Time Lady gently warned. "Th' Amiglion cow's quite good. 'Bit chatty, though..." she mused. "Umm... The Hasperat soufflé's wonderful -- very spicy, though, mind you... Ahh, the Sem'hal stew with yamok sauce is lovely -- some actually consider it t' be a favorite comfort food... Oh! An', th' krada legs are sort'a like frog's legs, only bigger, an' rather than tastin' like chicken, they taste kind'a 'beefy'..." Iris advised, trailing off after each suggestion.

"Mmm, but I think I might just order the Luhvian quail in truffle sauce, with roasted chadre'kab," she announced. "Sounds 'to-die-for'."

She then brought her eyes up from the menu and looked again at Fitz and asked, "Anythin' sound palatable t' you, dear Fitzy?"

[Deleted]

"Goodness, me!" Iris exclaimed before bursting into giggles. Quickly, though, she raised a dainty, well-manicured hand up to cover her lips. Slowly, the giggling subsided -- mostly.

"Oh, no -- I haven't done that in centuries!"

"Been that long, huh? Well, you were something. And still are," he added. Her embarrassed laughter was like him being asked about his gigs at Molly's back in day he supposed. When he used to play at having a gimpy leg so people would tip him better. That was Time Lords for you, they just kept going. Part of why they were so great. Least, great when they were a few in particular and less so otherwise.

It felt good to have a real, bonafide day off where he couldn't be called in. He was almost even sorry he'd thought of it, he'd been trying so hard not to. Even coming back to his flat in London...the one he kept meaning to earnestly think about moving out of but never ever did, just for reasons just like this one. And Christmas. He was brought back around by Iris offering some suggestions on the menu.

"Mmm, but I think I might just order the Luhvian quail in truffle sauce, with roasted chadre'kab," she announced. "Sounds 'to-die-for'."

She then brought her eyes up from the menu and looked again at Fitz and asked, "Anythin' sound palatable t' you, dear Fitzy?

"Let's go for the not-frog legs. Be adventurous. Thuhkrada legs you said? Something that tastes like beefy chicken," he gave a decisive nod. He pulled off his jacket and scarf and put them behind him on the chair, getting comfortable. It was impossible not to have a good view inside the restaurant. Wherever he looked, he saw something that was interesting to him. "This is lush!" he said, suddenly allowing it to hit him full again. He looked at Iris and gave a bit of a laugh, eyes bright. "Very lush, and I am feeling indecently spoiled. I love it." As drunken confessions went it wasn't a big one but the night was early yet.

[Iris Wildthyme]

After taking down their order, the waiter swished off to turn the ticket in to the kitchen, leaving the time traveling duo to themselves for a while.

"This is lush!" he said, suddenly allowing it to hit him full again. He looked at Iris and gave a bit of a laugh, eyes bright. "Very lush, and I am feeling indecently spoiled. I love it."

Iris giggled, quite pleased.

"Well, good!" she declared. "An', this is just th' first stop!"

Spoiling her companions was something that brought great joy to the Time Lady. Oh, and copious amounts of drinking, too -- mustn't forget the drinking.

And then, a thought suddenly hit, causing the tipsy Time Lady to give a gasp -- as it if were the greatest idea ever -- and, her eyes went wide, while she gushed, "Ooooh! What d'ya think about me tellin' th' waiter that it's your birthday? I think they'll send out a free cake out after our meal." She paused but a moment and then added, "'Course, they'll probably also have th' staff come out an' sing t' you... But, from what I've heard, the cake's worth th' embarrassment -- whaddya say, Fitzy?"

[Deleted]

"Ooooh! What d'ya think about me tellin' th' waiter that it's your birthday? I think they'll send out a free cake out after our meal." She paused but a moment and then added, "'Course, they'll probably also have th' staff come out an' sing t' you... But, from what I've heard, the cake's worth th' embarrassment -- whaddya say, Fitzy?"

Fitz began to nod, stopping only when he realised that the world was quite conveniently still nodding for him. "Yeah!" he agreed enthusiastically. "We should do that, I mean, it's got to be my actual, you know, birthday sometime? Or was that it's always four o'clock somewhere? But...so, why not right now, here at the end of the...the end of the universe?" He drummed his hands on the top of the table, possibly testing it out for use as an impromptu stage later. "Yeaaaah! And I'll sing right there with 'em, nothing...is embarrassing about...my singing...but -you- got to sing with me. Sing for my birthday, right and proper. I'll split the cake with you, right in half even," he said to her with utter drunken sincerity. Cake had become the hot commodity in question. "Right in half, Iris. Because...I like you and also I am just that sort of man. To share my birthday cake with after being roundly...embarrassed by other people's singing." Cheekily, he added, "We can throw rock-paper-scissors over who gets to lick the fork."