This Fire Burns Always (Five/Nyssa, Eleven/Emilie)

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I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, then all at once.
-John Green
The Fault In Our Stars

They still hadn't talked about the past. Not really. She'd almost slapped him - had, if one counted hitting at his chest while she pretended that she wasn't crying while he stood there. Watching, just watching, knowing, perhaps, not to speak.

They still hadn't talked about it. There was too much to discuss.

So instead of sitting cross legged in the console room, looking down through the glass while he worked and she talked to the TARDIS, Emilie had gone wandering through the depths of the capsule. There were so very many rooms. Some were modern, all edges and slants or gears, while others held the warmth of history.

One of her favorites was the room Emilie had dubbed 'The Heriot', so named because it was one of the last places she could imagine Zoe feeling at home in. An old Victorian style parlor with a chaise lounge and a fireplace that would crackle to life as soon as you entered the room.

Today, 'The Heriot' was her escape. The longer she delayed coming to grips with her separation, the longer until she had to admit to herself that Doctor was gone.

The man who could feel the world turning beneath his feet, so old but so young. One whom she hadn't been able to fix, not completely, for any mending she had helped with had no doubt fallen in her sudden disappearance. This Doctor... this version of him wasn't the same. He could never be.

Just her friend, nothing more, even if he was the Doctor.

It seemed rather silly, that she was able to harbor feelings for his older looking version a small number of regenerations ago but not know about this one, and yet there it was. Emilie wasn't sure how the ninth incarnation had felt for her, and it didn't much matter now.

Because now she just wanted something to bury her mind in for a while.

The flames stirred as Emilie rested her head on her knees, just listening to the snapping fire.

Only there was something more than just that, there was another sound, one she couldn't quite make out. Not the rustling of rats (could the TARDIS even be infected by rats?), but some sort of distorted sound nonetheless.

"Doctor? Is that you?" Emilie asked, leery now at this new introduction.

What surprise do you have for me, you beautiful thing? Emilie thought to the TARDIS as she slowly approached the fire.

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The Doctor had been in one of his studies, yes, there were several here now, just sitting and contemplating a bit, he needed this alone time now and then. He'd lit a fire and was staring at the fireplace, letting the burning logs warm him, it was actually quite calming.

In the succession of nearly three weeks, Adric died, then he lost Tegan as well. It was just Nyssa and himself now, and while he cared for Nyssa greatly, she often found ways to busy herself on her own, and he had to chase her down when something interesting happened.

Like, when someone started to talk to him through the fireplace.

"Doctor? Is that you?" Emilie asked, leery now at this new introduction.

"What?" The Doctor practically squawked as he ducked down to look through the fire, "There's a girl in my fireplace. Hello girl, yes, it's me, I'm The Doctor." He paused, "But, who are you? And how did you get in there? Don't worry! I'll have you out soon! I just need some help!"

He ran to the door, opened it and called out, "Nyssa! I need your help in my study! The one with the big holographic globe! Hurry please!"

Then, The Doctor ran back to the fireplace, "Don't worry my dear, I have help on the way!"

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Emilie knew what the sound was now. It was the sound of pages turning and a fire crackling that she had not even lit.

Sitting cross legged in front of the fire place, Emilie put one hand on the mantelpiece as the young (and he actually did sound young!) Doctor on the other side began to babble and call for someone named Nyssa.

Patience, it seemed, was a quantity Emilie could still find in abundance. At least when it came to meeting new Doctor's, for she had to admit to herself at least that she had grown a little leery of such meetings. When Emilie had called out, she had thought that... well, for lack of a better term, her Doctor had been fiddling about. She had not, however, expected to find another version of him in the fireplace.

"I assure you, there's no need to panic. Well, perhaps a slight need since your TARDIS is crossing its own timeline somehow, but then she's rather amazing at doing the impossible, so perhaps no need to worry at all."

Ah, she was babbling. That wasn't good. Nerves weren't the style she wanted at all.

"Anyway, it would be a lot easier to talk to you if you put out the fire on your side. The fireplace is empty on my end."

She smiled a little at his rapid questions, feeling a bit less odd with him speaking just as much nonsense as she was.

"I'm Emilie. Emilie Gunnar, and from my perspective, it's really more of a question of how you got into my fireplace."

She needn't ask who Nyssa was. If the girl was coming, then she would certainly be capable of introducing herself.

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The Doctor had been giving Emilie her space, she'd been quite upset, and rightfully so. Since she was only now realizing that the two of them had met in different times. He'd met Emilie technically before she'd met him. But, he couldn't tell her about that, it was just too complicated and timey wimey, he had to let Emilie live her life without foreknowledge.

And of course, she was bound to be upset when he did it again. He still didn't know the secret she'd been keeping from him the first time they'd been together together.

And at this point in her life, Emilie certainly didn't need to know about that, as much as The Doctor wanted to tell her, and see what she thought of him in that light. That ache, could wait.

As he passed by the rooms, he'd heard Emilie talking in one of the lounges. The Heriot, he was pretty sure is what Emilie called it. Who was she talking to? Had another cat wandered on board?

Your TARDIS is crossing its own timeline somehow

No, he couldn't imagine it being a cat now. Someone, a version of himself, was on board. Had the TARDIS fused with herself again. For goodness sake, the silly woman was probably as attracted to herself as Amelia had been.

Regardless, The Doctor needed to know which him (and he hoped it was one of his younger selves) was wandering around, so they could set things right.

Opening the door, The Doctor peered in, "Emilie, are you alright?" He could see the fireplace settling down, and a blonde wearing celery.

"Ah, so, not the me with funny hair and the trainers then, is he?"

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Why did the Doctor always find an emergency right when she wanted to work in her lab? She wasn't going to get anywhere on these trials if she was perpetually interrupted.

Still. She couldn't hold anything against the Doctor. He was a truly good man, a Serkur*.

Luckily, Nyssa knew precisely which study the Doctor meant. The door clicked open softly to the sound of voices, distorted but not quite like a radio.

"What's wrong, Doctor?"


*One without sin, reference: Divided Loyalties

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"Don't worry my dear, I have help on the way!"

The girl seemed unworried, and aware of the situation as well as his identity. He paused, looked at the woman through the flame, she was too knowledgeable. Reaching to the dial, The Doctor lowered the gas and got a better look through the fireplace, moving the log of wood and ashes aside with the poker.

The Doctor peered ahead and finally made a comment, "Dear me, I've become a woman. Well, how many regenerations between us then?"

"I'm Emilie. Emilie Gunnar, and from my perspective, it's really more of a question of how you got into my fireplace."

"Oh! Oh, I see. I apologize. Yes, I can see this is our fireplaces fused. It's happened before, bound to happen again."

That was when Nyssa arrived, and the voice at the other end called out, "And that must be me. Come here Nyssa, we're going to crawl through the fireplace to the other end. We have guests, or, we are guests. A bit of both I suppose."

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It took Emilie a moment to realize the Doctor thought that she was a future him. After introducing herself, she found herself giggling despite her nerves.

"If I recall my history right, and my history is perfect," Emilie teased, emboldened now, "six regenerations between us."

She wasn't sure who he meant by funny hair and trainers, but Emilie turned towards the Eleventh Doctor.

"I'm... I'm alright, Doctor."

She wasn't fully, but Emilie felt a tug of loyalty to not parade her emotions in front of this younger Doctor. If loyalty was the right word.

Looking back, Emilie saw a pretty young woman (weren't they almost always?) with a kind expression that made Emilie want to hug her.

"Wait.. crawling through?"

Well, it made sense of a kind, but Emilie hadn't really thought that far into their situation.

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Emilie let him know that she was alright and then went back to talking through the fireplace. He could see the fireplace settling down, and a blonde wearing celery.

"Ah, so, not the me with funny hair and the trainers then, is he?"

"No no, not anymore," The Doctor answered, knowing he was about to head over, then he heard the door open on the Fifth's side, "Wait, who's with you?"

The voice was recognizable, he smiled just a bit, "I see, Nyssa's with you then." He wouldn't admit it yet, but he was quite excited to see her again, it had been a long time since he'd last.

Emilie was surprised, but the younger Time Lord climbed through and smiled to them, "Hello hello. It seems we've got a situation then. Oh, Nyssa!" He turned back to help Nyssa crawl through, she'd likely protest, but The Doctor always did it anyway.

The older Doctor nodded, "It does. Luckily, I've learned to stabilize the time issues. You and I can stand and talk all day, no need to worry about a rip in time and space."

He paused before saying, "Emilie, I'd like you to meet the Fifth me, and Nyssa of Traken." He let Emilie say her hellos while looking at Nyssa and smiling affectionately, he couldn't help it.

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"You know, Doctor. You are usually better at keeping our adventures outside of the TARDIS," Nyssa commented dryly before sighing and following the Doctor's lead.

Once she was on the otherside, Nyssa dusted off her burgundy skirt. She needn't have bothered really. Nyssa had a knack for keeping herself and her clothes immaculate.

Before she could say anything, a tall skinny man with a rectangular face and a nice mop of hair began introductions. Extraordinarily, to her mind, he seemed to know everyone's names.

"I suppose it would be too much to ask for some sort of explanation?" she asked, looking to the blonde in the cricket outfit after saying a polite 'how do you do' to the strangers that appeared to live on the other side of the fireplace.

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Nyssa had made a comment, one that normally The Doctor would reply to, but there was all sorts of things going on, so Nyssa had gotten lucky this time.

The Doctor had turned to the girl and nodded his head with a smile, "Nice to meet you properly Emilie Gunnar." Then looked to himself and said, "Well, I seem to be meeting myself quite a bit lately. Doctor." The older Doctor smiled and nodded before he did an introduction as well.

"I suppose it would be too much to ask for some sort of explanation?"

Nyssa was looking quite confused, so The Doctor offered an explanation, "Ah yes, that's me, in the future. And Emilie travels with him, I gather. We're in the TARDIS, which has bumped into, and fused with it's future self, the same TARDIS fused into one, quite a mess really."

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"Pleased to meet you, Nyssa. And you yet again, Doctor."

The only thing to do was to shake hands, and pretend she was halfway as confident as she was trying to look.

Emilie caught the hint that Nyssa was not human, although she had never heard of the planet Traken. Not that Emilie really thought the young woman's species mattered. She seemed terribly kind. Shouldn't that be good enough?

The younger Doctor appeared to be dressed for a sporting event, leaving Emilie unsure if this was his normal outfit or if the fireplace mystery had interrupted his plans.

Well, except for....

"Sorry, but... is the celery meant to be some sort of talisman? Or is it a fashion statement?"

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"Sorry, but... is the celery meant to be some sort of talisman? Or is it a fashion statement?"

"Oh, interesting story, the celery-"

"Sorry," The Eleventh Doctor cut in, "We'll have to explain later. We need to go work on unfusing the TARDISes, or find out how they even came to fuse in the first place, it certainly wasn't like the last time. And I've been much more careful than I had been last time."

He moved towards the door and said, "Let's go to the console room everyone, we'll discuss it there. Perhaps I can make some tea."

"I see you've become prepared for this kind of event Doctor."

"Of course I have, the last time had been quite an issue, hadn't it Doctor."

"Good point."

He smiled to Emilie and said, "Why don't you lead the way Emilie, the layout has changed in the time from his TARDIS to mine." The older Time Lord was working on getting up ahead to the console, where they'd be able to track the source of the fusion."

He was also considering going to examine his old TARDIS while the others were preoccupied with getting to the console room. It was a bit of a trek, and he knew a shortcut.

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"It's not that long of a story, Emilie," Nyssa put in gently. "Right after he regenerated, Tegan and I took him to this place called Castrovalva. Someone gave him celery there and he decided it was a sign of civilization and, for some reason, also saw fit to wear it."

Nyssa was still not precisely clear on what was going on, but the Doctor - well, the one she knew anyway - had explained as concisely as possible. It seemed rather incredible, but she had seen him change his face before after all.

"I don't imagine that running into yourself is a very good thing," Nyssa said uneasily, distinctly recalling the 'Watcher' that had heralded the death of the tall, madly brilliant, bohemian Doctor.

So when the other Doctor proposed the start to a solution, Nyssa found herself smiling brightly his way in relief.

"Yes, let's Doctor. You two seem like lovely people, but I don't imagine we could go on like this for too long."

The Doctor always found trouble. Having two on board the same ship was a recipe for disaster just like those old Earth sayings about having women or albatrosses on board.

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Nyssa explained the origin of the celery and then The Doctor added his own side, "Is that what it was? I can honestly say that I'd forgotten why I wear the celery, it's become habit." The real reason could remain a secret for now. He would eventually explain it to someone, before he stopped doing it.

She also brought up a good point about meeting himself no doubt she was thinking about The Watcher, "Ah, yes, it's true that these sorts of things only happen in the greatest of emergencies. We try not to run into each other as much as we can, but it can become a bit of a struggle at times."

The elder Time Lord suggested that they got to work, Nyssa agreed before the older asked his traveling partner to lead the way. Smiling to his older, no doubt wiser self, he nodded, "Very good. Let's get cracking Doctor."

"Looking forward to it Doctor."

He smiled to Emilie and said, "Lead the way my dear Emilie."