This Fire Burns Always [Five, Eleven, Emilie]

[Deleted]

I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, then all at once.
-John Green
The Fault In Our Stars

They still hadn't talked about the past. Not really. She'd slapped him and pretended she wasn't crying while he stood there. Watching, just watching, knowing, perhaps, not to speak.

They still hadn't talked about it. There was too much to discuss.

So instead of sitting cross legged in the console room, looking down through the glass while he worked and she talked to the TARDIS, Emilie had gone wandering through the depths of the capsule. There were so very many rooms. Some were modern, all edges and slants or gears, while others held the warmth of history.

One of her favorites was the room Emilie had dubbed 'The Heriot', so named because it was one of the last places she could imagine Zoe feeling at home in. An old Victorian style parlor with a chaise lounge and a fireplace that would crackle to life as soon as you entered the room.

Today, 'The Heriot' was her escape. The longer she delayed coming to grips with her separation, the longer until she had to admit to herself that Doctor was gone.

The man who could feel the world turning beneath his feet, so old but so young. One whom she hadn't been able to fix, not completely, for any mending she had helped with had no doubt fallen in her sudden disappearance. This Doctor... this version of him wasn't the same. He could never be.

Just her friend, nothing more, even if he was the Doctor.

It seemed rather silly, that she was able to harbor feelings for his older looking version a small number of regenerations ago but not this one, and yet there it was. Emilie wasn't sure how the ninth incarnation had felt for her, and it didn't much matter now.

Because now she just wanted something to bury her mind in for a while.

The flames stirred as Emilie rested her head on her knees, just listening to the snapping fire.

Only there was something more than just that, there was another sound, one she couldn't quite make out. Not the rustling of rats [could the TARDIS even be infected by rats?], but some sort of distorted sound nonetheless.

"Doctor? Is that you?" Emilie asked, leery now at this new introduction.

What surprise do you have for me, you beautiful thing? Emilie thought to the TARDIS as she slowly approached the fire.

[Deleted]

Why?

The question had been asked so many times across the universe, but never did it have more meaning than it did now.

Until this point, The Doctor couldn't remember a time when he was sad at the death of someone else, but now, sitting in front of the crackling fire, he did.

Was this meant to be? The Time Vortex chose me, back when I was a child, but why me? Time heals all wounds...but then creates so many more...

Adric was dead, there was no denying it, he'd seen Adric die. He was there. Where would he be if we had never met? Probably winning another award.

He was called a mathematical elite on his planet, in the end it did him no good though.

He sighed, and lay back a little further in his chair, and asked again, why?

Suddenly, a noise, only just distinguishable from the normal noise of the fire, but enough to raise the Doctor from his seat.

A voice called out, distorted, but decipherable.

"Doctor? Is that you?"

He walked closer to the fire, and called into the fire, "Yes, yes it is, who are you?"

[Deleted]

With Emilie off wandering the TARDIS, The Doctor decided to give her some space. There was a nasty sting from where she'd smacked him, though he'd know that it was coming. Heck, he even remembered telling her that she'd want to do that eventually.

Not that he thought she really would.

He touched the tender spot lightly before pulling another lever, not really having a particular destination in mind. That probably meant he should sit down for a few moments. Really think about it all. Had he loved Emilie like that back then? He supposed it was possible, but, Nine was a emotional roller coaster. He'd been so angry, so full of rage. Then, he met Emilie, and she chipped some of the ice away, when she left him, he met Rose, and things snow balled.

"Oh Doctor, what messes you make when you try to love." He laughed darkly before standing from his chair, "Perfect solution! Fish fingers and custard! Emilie should try some!" The Doctor rushed off to the kitchen to make some, hopefully there would be enough to share!

[Deleted]

"Yes, yes it is, who are you?"

The voice didn't sound familiar, but it was coming through a fireplace. There was bound to be some sort of distortion. And if he said he was the Doctor, she was inclinded to believe him. Only the Doctor and his companions were truly welcome in the TARDIS, or so Emilie was inclined to believe.

But which?

The question teased her thoughts. There were so many versions of the Doctor. So many lives, so many friendships, and so much pain.

Too much for any one man, no matter how long he lived. He grew and changed and adapted as best he could, but perhaps a Time Lord truly did live too long.

And yet, selfishly, Emilie could not imagine a universe without the Doctor as being a place of much hope or joy.

"I'm Emilie, of course," she responded. It was hard to keep track of which Doctors she had met now, but surely one of them might remember her at this point.

The TARDIS always did, at least.

"I don't mean to be rude, but... which Doctor are you? You don't sound like any of the one's I've met, unless that's just the fire."

She had crouched down by the hearth at this point, peering through to the other side in hopes of catching a glimpse of her conversational companion.

[Deleted]

"I'm Emilie, of course."

Oh, of course, the confusing woman.

"I don't mean to be rude, but... which Doctor are you?"

How obscure.

"I'm...the Fifth one?"

There wasn't too many occasions where he had to answer that question, except with her of course, she came up at the weirdest times.

"Umm, am I there? Am I still wearing that bowtie? Wait, hold on."

He looked at the top of the mantelpiece, and flicked a switch, the flames slowly died down. He looked into the fire, he could now see her there.

"Hello there," The Doctor said, and smiled.

[Deleted]

The door to Emilie's favorite hangout was pushed open. The Eleventh Doctor slid in backwards, holding a large bowl full of nearly yellow custard and a full box of prepared fish fingers in them. Taking a bite out of the processed goodness, The Doctor managed to speak up.

"Y'know Emilie, I've told you how much I love fish fingers and custard, but I never made some for you. So, here we are, let's split a bowl, eh?" He slowly turned around, unaware of the other man standing in the room yet. It took a second as he looked down at the fireplace, there was a face there.

"Oh hello," The Doctor said, "I didn't know someone else had ended up on board-" He trailed off, realizing who was at the other end of the fireplace looking at them, "Wh-what!? How did you get in here!?"

[Deleted]

Sitting crosslegged in front of the fire, Emilie's eyes brightened with interest.

Thank you, darling. she thought to the TARDIS warmly. Unlike the Doctor's who knew better, she had already accepted this as just a regular quirk of living in a time machine.

Am I still wearing that bowtie?

"There seems to be no stopping you," she answered, looking on with interest as he put out the flames so they could see each other properly.

And then he came in, causing Emilie's shoulders to tense just slightly, even if he didn't sound angry for her earlier slap.

If anything, it sounded like he was making a peace offering.

"See what I mean?" she asked the Fifth Doctor conspiratorily before standing to greet her tweed and bow tie loving friend.

"Hello, Doctor. I was just meeting you."

Selecting a fish finger, she dipped it a bit gingerly into the custard before taking a bite of the concoction, only making a muffled 'Mmn?' sound as question to his distress.

[Deleted]

"Wh-what!? How did you get in here!?"

"I'd like to ask the same question, is that..."

He watched as the two ate the strange concoction that Eleven had made.

"Oh my, it is," he said, puzzled, "I hate custard!"

How could anyone, especially him, like custard? I mean it's so yellow, and...

Turning to more practical problems, Five asked,

"So, how is this going to work? Are you guys just going to crawl through or...?"

[Deleted]

The Eleventh Doctor stared at his former self blankly for a moment, this was starting to become incredibly uncomfortable, he's run into three of his younger incarnations now. Why? This was all so very strange now, he wondered if Five was thinking the same thing by now.

"Yes yes, I remember," The older Doctor answered, "But, the taste buds really got zapped this go around, probably because I took so long before regenerating. Fish fingers and custard are my favorites now. Though, sushi had been alright!"

His fifth incarnation asked if they were going to travel over into his TARDIS, and The Eleventh shook his head as he passed the bowl to Emilie, "Us, go over there? I don't think so! This is where all the up to date information is stored. You crawl down over here."

[Deleted]

"It's not that bad, actually," Emilie responded to the Fifth Doctor's comment. She even snagged a second fish finger, dipping it more liberally this time while the Doctor started to argue with himself.

She might have just made off with the fish fingers and custard and sat back down on the couch to watch them just like one might a movie except she realized what they were arguing over.

Dusting off her hands quickly, Emilie headed back towards the fireplace.

"But then I can meet her!"

Eleven was sure to know what Emilie meant, but it occured to her belatedly that perhaps his younger self did not.

"Your version of the TARDIS, I mean."

She paused, finally seeing him steadily and without distraction.

"Doctor, I didn't realize you were serious about the celery."

[Deleted]

"Well yes, but I shouldn't be looking at any up to date information, remember those little things called the Laws of Time?

Yes I know we don't generally notice them, and I obviously don't keep my promise of taking notice of them, but just this once, can we actually obey something?

Besides, you're brunette, the ash won't show up so much."

Five rolled his eyes, again with the celery.

"I need the celery, I don't have much choice in the matter."

[Deleted]

The Eleventh rolled his eyes, "Give me a little credit, I don't plan on spoiling anything yet." He looked to Emilie and rhetorically asked, "Do you see what I put up with? This one and the one before him can be so mean to the rest of us sometimes."

He looked the celery over before chuckling and looking to Emilie, "I was a little bit of a hypochondriac back then, you know. Didn't stop me from having any fun though. I'd say this one is the reason I'm so good at sports." The Doctor had once shown Emilie his natural gift for football.

Sighing, The Doctor looked to his blonde incarnation and asked, "So, what do you supposed has dragged us together this time then?"

[Deleted]

Emilie gestured for the Fifth Doctor to move back as she kept an ear out for Eleven.

"A hypochondriac? What does that have to do with celery?"

Oh, right, there was a mystery afoot as well. She should really focus on that.

But after she got to meet the TARDIS at this age. Emilie had no qualms about crawling through a fireplace if that was what it took.

[Deleted]

"It's a long story."

"So, what do you supposed has dragged us together this time then?"

"Good question, well, obviously something's going to need saving, but what? Well, we're not going to find out arguing like this...it seems your companion wants to come and have a look."

The Doctor smiled smugly.

[Deleted]

The Eleventh made a face, mimicking his younger self's words immaturely before saying, "Alright, alright, through the fireplace then. No point in drawing this out into a debate." He moved toward the fireplace and looked through to Five.

"Well, if you want us to come over, move aside."

Then he looked back to Emilie and motioned for her to go through, "In you go then, ladies first." The Doctor was wondering what could possibly be attaching their TARDIS to her younger self, unaware that it was all planned by the magic box herself.