Heir to the Pwn ((Cai/Pretty Poison))

[Pretty Poison]

The penthouse office was nothing short of spectacular.

The highest chamber in the loftiest tower, poised far above the hoi polloi working below in the bustling, air-tight domes of the planet Mephistopheles. The décor was simplistic to the point of starkness, minimalism taken to absolute extremes. Polished black walls and floor of gleaming onyx, a ceiling of pure, burnished gold; a series of shallow steps leading down from the impressive, double-doored entranceway, to a sunken circular area, dominated by an enormous desk, hand-crafted from a single piece of glowing vintaric crystal.

And beyond the desk, the arc of floor-to-ceiling windows, the centrepiece around which the entire room was designed. A breath-taking, jaw-dropping view of the Seraphim Nebula, the ever changing, vibrantly-coloured cloud of cosmic matter around which the planet was in orbit.

Seated in his luxurious office chair, (made from the soft leather hide of an endangered ghoutie-beast), Chandler Zeus straightened his argonite cufflinks, a thoughtful expression on his leonine face. A handsome man in his sixties, with a broad stocky build, silvering hair, and cold blue eyes, he was the President of Zeus Industries, the largest financial conglomeration in five galaxies. Consequently, he was one of the richest and most powerful business moguls who had ever lived, with literally a finger in every pie. Whenever he was interviewed by the swarms of media who clamoured for his slightest word, he would proudly say that he was a self-made man, who had fought his way up from the bottom, through sheer guts and determination, and by being willing to take risks no-one else would dare.

The planet Mephistopheles, which now formed the hub of his empire, was one of those risks. Once it had been a barren, airless rock, without atmosphere and unsought by anyone. But the name had amused Chandler Zeus. After all, he had always claimed that the devil would never allow him into hell, because he'd be too afraid of the competition. And so he had acquired it – and its view – to build his headquarters. A pity, of course, for the rest of the workforce, that for him to enjoy the paralleled vista of the nebula, they needed to work down below in crowded, hermetically sealed bunkers. But that was just one of the many privileges of wealth and he had no qualms about taking advantage of it.

The fact was, for a man like Chandler Zeus, anything was possible. He stared again at the slowly revolving holograph of a man, floating over the surface of his desk, complete with complete biographical data. Cai Dorough.  One of the best mercenaries in the business, by all reports. But a total maverick, with his own unique way of doing things, accountable to no-one but himself. Someone who would get the job done, regardless of the cost. Perfect, in other words, for the mission Zeus had in mind.

He paused for just a few moments more, and then leaned forward to touch a button, causing the holograph to vanish back inside a small chip sitting in the middle of the desk. Calmly, he brushed his forefinger over the crystalline surface, activating the inter-office communication system.

“Ms Monroe, a word please.”

Almost immediately, the obsidian doors leading to the outer office slid silently open, and a young blonde woman in a business suit sashayed into the room. Chandler Zeus watched her appreciatively. She was another example of the things money could buy – an exact genetic clone of the original Marilyn Monroe – just because he could.

“Yes, Mr Zeus?”

“I want you to arrange a meeting for me here with the mercenary known as Cai Dorough, as soon as possible,” he instructed, handing her the holographic wafer. “His contact details are on this chip. Naturally, I require the utmost confidentiality.”

“At once, Mr Zeus.” Her heels clacked on the polished floor, as she left the room to do his bidding with pleasing alacrity.

The aging businessman sat back in his chair, staring out the observation windows, the magnificent swirling colours so close he could almost imagine reaching out to touch them. He had no doubt that Dorough would come. One did not say no to a summons from Chandler Zeus.

A smirk curved his lips, lending a ruthless cast to his craggy features. It was a strange truth he had discovered very early on in his life - no matter how much he had, he always wanted more. And in this case, that was exactly what hiring Cai Dorough would gain for him.

More.

[Cai Dorough]

Cai looked at the emissary with furrowed brows, half his mouth frowning. The man was slender yet managed to sweat profusely as if he had just run several miles straight to Cai's door to deliver the message. He was dressed in a cheap suit that looked like it had gone through one-too-many bad days and just been picked up off the floor where he had crumpled it the day before. The letter was actually a small chip that produced a holographic image of a woman, at the behest of a man named Zeus. The mercenary tossed it back to the man without care. "Pfft, no."

The man stared at him at a loss, a baffled and fear-stricken look painted on his face. Whether he was more afraid of Zeus or Cai, could not be discerned, but Cai was sure he was not lacking in either. "But sir, I don't think you know who Mr. Zeus is. I would not suggest-"

"Hell no, then." He slammed the door in the man's face and went to the bathroom. When he stepped in front of the mirror, it was all he could do to not smash it to pieces. Staring back at him was a face that was not his own. It was still brand new, what he had gone through, merely two months past. He had no idea why his face had changed, but after the incident with Samden he been sporting a brand new mug. At least I'm still pretty.

Knocking came from the front door, the emissary outside pleading for him to answer. "Please, Mr. Dorough. You don't know what he'll do to me if I don't get you to come."

Cai paid him no heed and shook his head, blinking a few times . Along with his face, his eyes had gone all wonky again too. Before, they shined green whenever he was in the dark. Now, however, they emanated a purple glow. Again, how and why eluded him. Maybe this face just liked purple better? Whatever the reason, it was just another thing to fix in his long list of tolls to exact on Time Lords for turning him into E.T..

He sat on the couch and turned on the TV, Gilmore Girls halfway through the episode. He kicked his feet back and pulled a piece of pizza from the box he had ordered a few days ago and not finished yet. "Ooooo, Rory's gonna get it now!"

Suddenly, a bluish-white light erupted from the corner of the room. A thin line like a flash, followed by a specter of the same bluish-white light that appeared in the room. The specter was a young woman, in her late teens and beautiful. She had her hair pulled back in a loose pony-tail and hanging down across her shoulder. She was average height but she had big, bright eyes. No one else ever seemed to see her when she appeared, but she was all too real to Cai. And even though he had not seen her in technically hundreds of years and the last time he had seen her was when she was a young child, he would know her anywhere no matter how old she was. After all, a father always knew his daughter.

The specter crossed her arms and frowned at him. Nothing more, nothing less. She never talked, never even blinked. She just stood there watching him as if he were the child and she the adult, admonishing him for his bad behavior.

"Do I have to?" The specter did not answer him, merely stood there with her arms crossed.

"Excuse me, Mr. Dorough? I've just spoken with my employer. Mr. Zeus is willing to double the fee."

Cai leapt up and opened the door, much to the courier's belief. "Magic words, my good peon. And can I bring a friend?"

[Pretty Poison]

Pretty had never seen so much grey before.

Grey floors. Grey halls. Grey people, bustling back and forth, their heads bent over datapads, never looking to the right or the left. She studied them curiously as they scurried past. Were they clones, perhaps? At first glance, they all looked alike, dressed in a shiny, two-piece, iron-grey uniform, their shoulders slumped in the same posture of deference. But when she looked closer, she saw they were different, each one displaying the unique genetic characteristics most flesh creatures possessed. It was just difficult to see, under all that greyness.

The place hummed with words, but even those were grey. Assets, disbursement, net profit, amortisation, revenue, capital, liquidisation.... words that had been sucked dry of life and energy and meaning. The arid dustiness of them set her on edge, making her feel irritable and restless.

She was waiting at the foot of Zeus Tower, just by the elevators, which was the meeting place Cai had described in his message to her. It hadn't been difficult to find. As far as she could see, it was the only tower on the planet. All the other buildings – the ones that sheltered the workers – were huddled close to the ground, little more than utilitarian bunkers. Despite the unparalleled glory of the nebula roiling above them, there weren't even any windows. Pretty could only suppose that whoever had designed this place didn't want the grey people distracted from the business at hand.

Even though she was sure she was in the right place, uncertainty nagged at her. This didn't seem like the sort of venue she would associate with her friend Cai. He was brimful of words too, she remembered, but words that were as removed from these dim, dusty shadows as the east is from the west. Cai's words exuded risk, excitement, recklessness, sometimes menace, sometimes insanity. They were words that called to her, full of life and energy. She wondered why he had summoned her here, to this dead place.

Naturally enough, her presence hadn't gone unnoticed. To be fair, a tall, slender woman with all the grace of a panther, dressed from head to toe in skin-tight black leather, did tend to stand out wherever she went. But even more so here, the only one different, the only one stationary, like an intruding grasshopper in a nest of worker ants.

A blonde, muscular, bland-featured man in a security uniform marched directly up to her. A droid, she noted, with a flicker of contempt.

“Ma'am, might I inquire as to your business here?”

Pretty merely stared at him, her arms folded. “No,” she answered calmly, her interpretation as literal as ever.

“Ma'am, this is a restricted security zone, accessible only to authorised Zeus Industries personnel,” the droid tried again. “I must ask you again to state your business.”

It would be easy enough for Pretty to tell him that she was here as Cai Dorough's associate, at the request of Chandler Zeus himself. But she wasn't in the mood for that. She didn't like this sterile place and it had made her itch for violence. She'd been on enough bounty-hunting missions with Nobody No-one to realise that Cai would probably frown on her starting trouble before he even received his briefing. All the same, this droid was really getting on her nerves.

“And if I do not?”

“Then I'm afraid I will be forced to take you into custody for interrogation,” the security officer replied firmly.

A small, sly smile played around her lips. “Oh, will you, indeed?”

The temptation was too much for her to bear. Her fingers flexed, already imagining the weight of her guns, the tumult and chaos she could cause.

Cai had better get here very quickly.

Otherwise... she was going to make some fun of her own.

[Cai Dorough]

Cai had never gotten the hang of using his TARDIS. Regardless of how long he'd had the ship, over two hundred years now, he mostly just pressed buttons until something happened and sometimes he got to where he wanted to go, almost as if the ship could sense his intent. However, the rest of the time it was sporadic and hectic every time he started it up, bounced him around like a ball in a globe, and took him places he had no idea where. Once, he spent nearly fifteen months trying to get home from a job he was hired for, landing at all sorts of planets and satellites and moons with any number of odd alien life.

As it was this time, Cai had spent six days inside his ship trying to locate the correct place. He'd sent his message off to Pretty Poison for her to meet him at the location given in the holograph message and then immediately set off to planet Mephistopheles, but he'd bounced around so many times trying to find it, followed by two days of fuming in the training room, then back to attempts to get to his destination.

"You're jerkin' me around, I know it!" he screamed at the ships walls, giving it a universal symbol of malcontent. "Don't make me get the sugar and pour it into your consoles again!" The ship began shaking violently, tossing the mercenary around like a rag doll. "Hey, you frakin' pile of bolts and goat dung, knock it off and get me to the damn tower!"

As if the ship could understand his threats, and Cai knew that it could, it tossed him once again. He fell toward the door fast but it opened on its own and Cai was sent tumbling through the portal. He noticed for a brief moment a world gray, as well as a massive tower rising into the sky on his left, as he fell away from his ship and the sky. After about thirty feet of falling, Cai slammed into something hard and metallic. He felt whatever it was crush beneath his impact, along with several of his own bones. However, he knew they would begin healing immediately. Ever since his face had changed, so had his ability to heal. Where before it had altered between healing his wounds either very slowly or very quickly, now it just maintained a constantly quick mend.

Standing over him, an image of death wrapped in leather, was Pretty Poison. He looked under him to see what remained of a blonde head with stone-wall features and wires spouting from the neck. "Ah crap, I think I killed your toaster. I hate that ship."

[Pretty Poison]

Pretty sensed the incoming projectile from the sky before it arrived, and took the time to casually step back.

The security guard, however, wasn't so lucky. The plummeting object struck the droid's head with terrific force, literally pile-driving him into the ground. Sparks flew everywhere and his arms moved feebly back and forth for a few seconds, before falling limp to his sides.

“Oh dear,” Pretty said, her tone coolly malicious. “What a shame!  It seems you won't be taking me into custody after all.”

She probably should have been surprised to discover that the projectile was a man and that the man was Cai. But she wasn't. It was very him, after all. This was the sort of thing he did. Which was why she had answered his summons here in the first place. Cai was never boring.

A grin of welcome touched her lips as he looked up at her, and began dusting himself off.

"Ah crap, I think I killed your toaster. I hate that ship."

“He was annoying me anyway,” she replied matter-of-factly. “Hello, Cai Dorough. You certainly know how to make an entrance, don't you?”

Sure enough, a ring of grey people had surrounded them, babbling and pointing in consternation. Pretty guessed that her friend's unorthodox arrival was probably the most exciting thing that had happened here in decades. A phalanx of security officers, identical to the first, were making their way towards them through the crowd, lasers drawn. However, before the droids could reach them, the elevator doors slid open, and a curvaceous, blonde woman in a well-tailored business suit stepped out.

“Mr Dorough? Ms Poison?” she inquired crisply. Then, without even waiting for confirmation, she added, “I am Ms Monroe, Mr Zeus's personal assistant. He wishes to see you immediately. Please follow me.”

She stepped back inside the elevator, clearly expecting them to follow. Pretty glanced down to see if Cai's healing process had advanced enough for him to stand. Then she walked beside him into the lift, warily watching the unmoving security droids and the whispering grey people as she did so. She could only hope they were heading somewhere a little less oppressive than what she had seen so far down here.

Ignoring the blonde woman as if she wasn't even there, the Word Lady turned to Cai and asked curiously, “Who is this Mr Zeus? Why have you called me here, Cai?”

[Cai Dorough]

"He's a big ol' fat paycheck," Cai replied to Poison, checking out the attendee in the elevator. She was an exact clone of Marilyn Monroe, down to the smallest detail. It seemed that this Zeus guy had a habit. He'd noticed the crowd around them while outside, several of them with repeating faces. "Hey baby, wanna see my turtle?" He waggled his eyebrows at the Monroe clone and smiled mischievously. Before she could reply to his question, the elevator dinged and the doors slid open unto a rather spartan looking lobby. There were no plants or windows, no decoration of any sort. Just a desk in front of a door, clean of everything but an intercom and phone.

"Right this way, please." The clone stepped out of the elevator and twisted sideways, smiling brightly and motioning for the two of them to exit after her. Cai did as bade, Poison walking out with him.

"I figured you were probably getting bored with whatever you were doing, seeing as I wasn't there and all. And I was going to be bored on this, so why not add company to misery? Plus, lots and lots of booms! And I was bored anyway. And I needed to stretch my new legs. And arms. And head. And colon. Maaaaan, I've had a lot of Mexican in the past two months." He shook his head, remembering all of the nights spent awake, regretting all of the burritos...

"Soooooo, I said to my self, I said 'Self,' my self said 'Hmm?' And I thought who better to make things interesting than my ol' buddy Poison, yeah? You know what they always say, 'no pain, no fun for Cai.' And now here we are with Jupiter Barbie, Mr. Golden Shower himself waiting to pay us a fat wad for watching some punk for a few days til he becomes King Punk and takes over the exciting bunch of miscreants we met outside. You got any gum?"

Cai didn't wait for an answer as he reached the door to the office and planted a powerful heel into it. The door slammed open, and banged against the wall, pieces of the handle flying off across the door. Cai whistled as he walked through. "Your secretary told us you like that. Take it out of her check."

[Pretty Poison]

"Hey baby, wanna see my turtle?" He waggled his eyebrows at the Monroe clone and smiled mischievously.

Marilyn stared back at him frostily, and Pretty had to resist the urge to trip the snooty blonde over as they followed her out of the elevator.

"Right this way, please." The woman's smile was brittle and plastic. She wasn't a droid, but she might as well be. Pretty eyed her with contempt and then continued to ignore her, listening closely to Cai's explanation instead.

She didn't understand everything he said to her. She very rarely did. But it always amused her to hear the tangle of language that poured out of him like a stream, even as she fished out a word here and there to unravel the context. Apparently, they were to get money for watching over someone and there would be explosions.

Pretty shrugged at that. Money meant nothing to her. But explosions, as Cai very well knew, she could never resist.

He'd barely finished talking, when he walked over to the door leading to Chandler Zeus's office and kicked it in. Pretty laughed. If nothing else, his action certainly stirred the elegant Ms Monroe out of her blonde complacency. She squawked like a strangled chicken and ran forward, crying, “What are you doing? Stop! Stop! You can't just...”

But she was too late, Cai was already inside. Pretty simply brushed the woman aside like an annoying fruit fly and also strode through the door, looking around curiously, momentarily dazzled by the bright colours of the nebula swirling outside the windows.

"Your secretary told us you like that. Take it out of her check."

Cai had no sooner said the words, when an enormous black man stepped out of the shadows and barred his way. He was dressed in a plain black silk suit, and his skin was the same shade of ebony as the walls and floor, giving the illusion that he had arisen out of nowhere. He had a large, deadly-looking energy weapon pointed directly at Cai's chest. He said nothing, but he didn't have to, the threat was plain.

“Oh, Mr Zeus, sir, I'm so sorry, I couldn't stop him....” The blonde fluttered in the shattered doorway, wringing her hands in anguish.

“It's all right, Ms Monroe, Noah,” an icy voice said, addressing both the personal secretary and the bodyguard. “Mr Dorough's reputation precedes him. I expected nothing less.”

The large leather chair behind the desk in the centre of the room swivelled around to face them, revealing a tall man with strong, arrogant features, silver-grey hair and the coldest pair of blue eyes Pretty had ever seen outside a Word Lord's face.

“But I'm afraid you have briefed your associate incorrectly, my friend.” As he spoke, he inclined his head to Pretty in acknowledgement. She stiffened for a moment, not liking the fact that he'd been somehow listening in on their conversation. “Ms Poison.” His eyes studied her closely for a moment, hooded like a snake's, and then went back to Cai. “The Prince you have been hired to protect does not come from this world, but from another. One you'll find somewhat less advanced, I'm afraid.”

[Cai Dorough]

As Cai stepped into the office, a hulking wall of a man moved to intercept him with a laser pistol aimed at his chest. The mercenary was a split second from breaking off the man's arm and beating him to death with it but a deep, barrel chested voice made the bodyguard stand down. Across the room as sparse as the lobby outside, another desk waited in front of a wide window that took up the entire wall. A man sat in a high-backed chair observing the spectacle through the glass, and he turned to address Cai and Poison.

“It's all right, Ms Monroe, Noah,” an icy voice said, addressing both the personal secretary and the bodyguard. “Mr Dorough's reputation precedes him. I expected nothing less.”

The large leather chair behind the desk in the centre of the room swivelled around to face them, revealing a tall man with strong, arrogant features, silver-grey hair and the coldest pair of blue eyes Pretty had ever seen outside a Word Lord's face.

“But I'm afraid you have briefed your associate incorrectly, my friend.” As he spoke, he inclined his head to Pretty in acknowledgement. She stiffened for a moment, not liking the fact that he'd been somehow listening in on their conversation. “Ms Poison.” His eyes studied her closely for a moment, hooded like a snake's, and then went back to Cai. “The Prince you have been hired to protect does not come from this world, but from another. One you'll find somewhat less advanced, I'm afraid.”

"What! Are you frakin kidding me, Pedro? You know how long it took me to get here? My patience smaller than tiny's brain over there," he pointed a thumb over his shoulder in the general direction of the massive body-guard, "and I ain't got any more to spend on going to whatever ghetto your royal chump comes from. Feel me?"

The bodyguard took one step forward, apparently trying to move closer to Cai in case the mercenary's infamous anger caused him to move on Zeus. However, his foot barely touched the floor before Cai whipped a gun out, shot one round through the guard's head over his shoulder without even taking his eyes off Zeus, and re-holstered the weapon before the body hit the floor. "Never liked him anyway. Never invited me over for a barbeque." The sound of footsteps outside the office echoed in the air, signaling more guards approaching.

Zeus merely laughed, clapping twice as six more guards, all mirror images of the first, filled the room in a semi-circle between Cai and the boss. "You will not be sorry, Mr. Dorough. I am sure we can work out an additional coverage for your troubles."

Cai smiled, placing his hands on the side of his face and giggling. "Oh Zeus, you know all the right things to say to a girl. And I didn't even get pregnant! Best date ever."

[Pretty Poison]

The same moment the big black bodyguard moved to attack Cai, the Marilyn clone dropped the dumb blonde act and whirled toward Pretty, a razor-sharp knife held expertly in her hand, aimed directly for the Word Lady's throat.

In that split fragment of time, Pretty caught sight of the absorbed look on the face of Chandler Zeus, and realised that this had been his intent all along, as a test of their abilities. A test that Cai passed instantly with flying colours, drawing his weapon and blowing the big bodyguard's head off, almost before he could twitch a muscle. Pretty didn't even bother to move, simply allowing Marilyn's knife to skitter across the unreal, invulnerable skin of her throat, not leaving the slightest mark. Then, she casually backhanded her astonished assailant in the face, flinging her across the room and into a wall, with enough force to shatter half the bones in her body. The blonde woman slid downwards, her head lolling from a broken neck, dead before she ever hit the floor.

"Never liked him anyway. Never invited me over for a barbeque," Cai commented off-handedly as the bulky form of the bodyguard fell before him - first to his knees with a crash and then collapsing in a heap, like a puppet with cut strings, blood pouring from the morass of pulverised bone that had once been his head.

Within seconds, they were confronted with six more bodyguards, guns raised as they formed a protective barrier in front of Zeus.

Instantly, Pretty vanished from sight, leaving the bodyguards staring in stupefaction at the empty space where she had been standing. Before they could draw a breath, she had rematerialised directly behind Zeus's chair, her own knife held to his throat, the keen edge pressing a stinging scarlet line into his skin.

To his credit, the aging business mogul didn't even flinch. Instead, with cool aplomb, he managed a sardonic laugh, while keeping perfectly motionless under the blade. “Thank you for that ample demonstration. It seems it is time to review my security arrangements.” The ice in his voice boded ill for his guards, and they seemed to know it, their faces paling in fear. "You will not be sorry, Mr. Dorough. I am sure we can work out an additional coverage for your troubles."

Cai smiled, placing his hands on the side of his face and giggling. "Oh Zeus, you know all the right things to say to a girl. And I didn't even get pregnant! Best date ever."

A ghost of a smile touched the man's thin lips, but didn't reach his eyes. “Indeed. Now... if we are to discuss terms... perhaps you would be good enough to call off your associate?”

Pretty hissed through her teeth, speaking up for the first time since they entered the room. “I am not his dog!” she snarled. “And he does not hold my leash.”

The only one to do that – the only one to whom she was truly accountable – was far away. Nonetheless, she drew the knife away from his throat and stepped back, so that the man could negotiate with Cai. She usually found this part of the process extremely boring, but she understood that it was necessary.

“Thank you, Ms Poison,” Zeus said wryly, still maintaining his calm demeanour. Turning back towards his desk, he touched a control and brought up a shimmering hologram of a green and verdant world. “The planet Aelakoeao. Much of it is still undeveloped, inhabited by savages, covered in rainforest and in some places, desert.”

The planet faded out and a different image emerged, this time of a large, walled citadel, glittering fiercely in the blazing sun and surrounded by a sprawling city. “The Crystalline City of Sati Z'Mule,” Zeus continued. “Capital of Aelakoeao, and the place where you'll be heading, should you accept my most generous offer.”

The hologram morphed into one last image, depicting a haughty-looking teenage boy with olive skin and long, plaited dark hair, wearing ornate robes of heavy brocade.

 

“Prince Xoannon, Heir to the Throne of Aelakoeao. He's the one you'll need to keep alive, long enough for him to reach his official coronation day in just over a month. It may sound straightforward - but believe me when I tell you, Mr Dorough, you'll be earning every last credit of the money I pay you.”

[Cai Dorough]

Cai nodded along as the holograms continued their alien Powerpoint slide, wondering all the while what they should do for lunch. I'm thinking chicken. Like, Kung Pao chicken. With some shrimp fried rice. And a egg roll. And so help me if they skimp on the rolls! Once the man was finished talking, Cai realized he had stopped paying attention when he had first started. "Oh yeah, cool, I got it. But just for fun, lets do it all over again. From the top people!"

Zeus did not look pleased to have to repeat himself, but Cai didn't really care what he was pleased with so long as he paid. Otherwise, Cai would not be pleased, and he'd have to leave more people sopping up their own brain goo on the floor like the first guard. Still, Zeus begrudgingly acquiesced and repeated the slide. Once he finished again, Cai nodded and tossed him a piece of wadded up paper. "Sounds good. Go to planet Akebeko, take a tour of the rain forest and bring back souvenirs, I bet this guy right here wants a t-shirt eh?" He smiled and pinched the cheek of one of the guards, but the man did not move any more than a frown. "Go to the city of I-Sat-On-A-Mule to protect Princess Xena until he reunites with the Amazons on his porcelain throne. Though it seems a bit crazy to have the meetings of state on the toilet, but hey who am I to judge?"

He nodded once, hand on his chin as he rolled the thoughts over. "Ok, we can do that. That's my price there. Paid in full up front, unless you wanna be a casualty of thumb war. We'll be waiting outside for your fall line of cronies here to bring me my money. Have a good day chumps." He turned to leave and waved to Poison. "You drive. My car is going to the chop shop."

[Pretty Poison]

Chandler Zeus was not accustomed to insolence. Nobody had dared to treat him with any sort of disrespect for a very long time. Cold rage at Cai's audacity flared in the pit of his stomach, an overwhelming urge to crush the life out of the arrogant, posturing buffoon.

However, through long practice, he schooled his features, not allowing any of his emotion to show. Right now, he needed Cai Dorough. The man's skills were superlative, while his abrasive attitude suited the plan perfectly. To achieve his ultimate objective, Zeus was prepared to tolerate a great deal indeed.

“As you say, Mr Dorough,” he said dryly, as Cai finished his mocking summation of the mission briefing.

The woman, Pretty Poison, was still lurking behind him somewhere. Zeus refused to give her the satisfaction of looking around, even though his skin crawled at the thought of her ice-blue eyes on his back. She was the wild card in all this, and it made him uneasy. He was used to having every detail of a scheme carefully mapped out before he went into it. However, despite all his contacts, he hadn't been able to discover anything about Pretty Poison. Cai Dorough had blazed a violent and bloody trail across the universe with the various assignments he had undertaken. Information on him had been reasonably easy to come by. The woman, though... he had no idea who... or more to the point, what... she was.

Dorough tossed him a piece of wadded-up paper. Raising an eyebrow, he unwrapped it. There was a figure written on it. An extremely exorbitant sum of money indeed.

"Ok, we can do that. That's my price there. Paid in full up front, unless you wanna be a casualty of thumb war. We'll be waiting outside for your fall line of cronies here to bring me my money. Have a good day chumps."

Without waiting for permission to leave, the mercenary turned and made for the door. There was a sharp clack of boot heels across the polished onyx floor as his leather-clad partner joined him. The line of disgraced bodyguards silently watched them go, murderously resentful expressions on their faces.

Dorough ignored them and gestured at the woman. "You drive. My car is going to the chop shop."

“That will not be necessary, Mr Dorough,” Zeus interjected smoothly, before she could reply. “I have put my own hyperdrive shuttle, together with a very experienced pilot, at your disposal for the journey to Aelakoeao.”

He pressed a hidden button on his desk and brisk footsteps sounded in the doorway. Another Marilyn clone, dressed in a short, tight business suit, and identical to the first, stepped into the room. Zeus's neutral expression didn't alter in the slightest as she delicately stepped over the sprawled legs of her dead predecessor.

“Ms Monroe, please see that Mr Dorough receives his money and anything else he requires. Then arrange for him and his associate to be escorted on board the shuttle for immediate take-off. Time is of the essence.”

“Yes, Mr Zeus,” the clone responded in a breathy, adoring voice.

Satisfied, Zeus refocused his steely gaze on his two newest employees. “If you or Ms Poison have any further questions regarding the mission, Mr Dorough, now would be a good time to ask.”

[Cai Dorough]

Cai was standing in the door, ready to leave, when Zeus asked if they had anything else they wanted to know. He stopped, tilting his head to one side slightly as if trying to hear something vague and then spun on his heel. "Why? You got anything you're not telling us?" Cai stepped back into the room slowly, cracking his knuckles and noting how the guards tensed. "Because if you do, now would be a good time to start praying." The ice in his voice seemed to fall down each guard's back as they all watched him nervously. "Something to say there, Chanberry Crunch?" Zeus merely smiled at him, a smug and confident look on his face.

The mercenary smiled then and clapped once. "Nothing? Good to hear. Thought you were gonna tell us about some flesh-eating demon ducks or something. How weird would that be? Ah well, see ya later Dr. Zeus. We're gonna go babysit your rugrat now." As he was leaving, he barked at the new Monroe clone and laughed all the way back to the elevator.

Before the doors could close, a man stepped in after them. With four people inside, it felt a bit crowded, but the Monroe clone and the new man did not seem to mind at all. The man was tall and thin, freshly shaved and dressed in a fine suit. His hair was combed back and gelled, and he was wearing some pervasive cologne that Cai nearly choked on as the elevator took them down. Not all the way to the ground floor, it seemed, but to some new area that opened up into a large hangar. Monroe and the new guy walked out first and the man turned back face the others, smiling widely.

"Mr. Dorough, Ms. Poison. My name is Fourteen. Please, if you will, follow me." The man spoke in a clipped British accent and his smile never faded. He started leading them toward a sleek looking ship. "Your pilot will arrive shortly, as well as a team to deliver your payment. If there is anything else you require, please feel free to to ask me."

"Unless you got Dorris Day's phone number up your sleeve somewhere," Cai replied, taking in the hangar and all of its many planes, jets, helicopters, and even cars, "I think we got it from here Jeeves." 

[Pretty Poison]

Pretty really hated being interrupted, so when Chandler Zeus pre-empted her, before she could ask Cai what a chop-shop was, it annoyed her very much.

Given her history in the Hand of All, she also wasn't all that fond of being trapped inside a restricted space - so being confined in the slow-moving elevator, listening to mind-numbingly boring music as they were transported down the tower, did not please her at all.

Worst of all, however, was the stench coming from the man who had slipped in the doors after them. The sickly, overpowering scent tickled her sensitive olfactory nerves and made her want to kill someone. And right at that moment, the simpering blonde Monroe clone appealed to her as a distinct possibility. Having dispatched the first one, perhaps she should go for a matched set.

Gritting her teeth, she moved away from the noxious man and closer to Cai, saying imperiously to her friend in her clear, silvery voice, “I am not surprised this Zeus has hired us to undertake his work. His enemies would SMELL any of his men coming!”

The doors to the elevator slid open and Mr Stinky got out, before turning to face them.

"Mr. Dorough, Ms. Poison. My name is Fourteen. Please, if you will, follow me." The man spoke in a clipped British accent and his smile never faded. He started leading them toward a sleek looking ship. "Your pilot will arrive shortly, as well as a team to deliver your payment. If there is anything else you require, please feel free to to ask me."

"Unless you got Dorris Day's phone number up your sleeve somewhere," Cai replied, taking in the hangar and all of its many planes, jets, helicopters, and even cars, "I think we got it from here Jeeves." 

Pretty eyed him with disfavour, then transferred her attention to the streamlined black jet, and her expression lightened. It was a beautiful ship, aerodynamically perfect. Leaving Cai to his scintillating discourse with Mr Stinky, she eagerly swung herself on board. The interior of the shuttle was luxurious, with enough space for at least a dozen passengers, and equipped with every possible convenience. Clearly, Pretty thought sourly, Chandler Zeus liked his comforts.

She strode through the passenger cabin to what she assumed would be the cockpit of the ship. There was a man there, already sitting in the pilot's seat, dressed in a black uniform marked with the Zeus Industries logo. He was busy checking dials and flipping switches, apparently preparing for take-off.

As she entered, he raised his head and scowled at her. “This is a restricted area, ma'am. Please return to your assigned seat in the passenger cabin.”

Pretty rolled her eyes like a surly teenager, before stepping forward and seizing the man by the collar of his elegant uniform.

“Hey, stop! What the hell are you doing?” he spluttered indignantly, as she dragged him through the bulkhead door and up the aisle of the passenger compartment. “Are you nuts, lady? Let me go!”

But Pretty just kept hauling him along, until they reached the door through which she had originally entered the ship. Down below on the tarmac, Cai was still standing with Fourteen and the Monroe clone, waiting for his money to be delivered.

With a nonchalant heave, Pretty tossed the swearing pilot out the door like a piece of garbage, intentionally dumping him right on top of Fourteen.

“Cai said I was driving,” she explained sweetly, before retracing her steps back into the cockpit, her ice-blue eyes gleaming in anticipation.

True, she'd never flown anything like this before. But she was a Word Lady. How hard could it be?

[Cai Dorough]

Cai waited outside while Pretty ducked into the vessel to have a look around. As far as Cai was concerned, he wasn't even going to step on the damn plane until he'd gotten his money. No pay, no way. Fourteen remained standing next to Cai, smiling incessantly like like some frozen screen. His hands were folded behind his back, silent as a grave.

"Dude, you're like a Batman villain. Stop looking at me." As if she had heard him, Poison reappeared at the hatch, pulling along behind her a frantic looking man dressed in black, screaming for her to let go of him. She seemed all too eager to oblige his wish as with one hand she threw the man from the plane right on top of Fourteen. Cai blinked once before nodding approval. "I like your style," he said up to her.

Cai turned away from the freaky man and the pilot who had landed atop him to see a team of men approaching the plane with several large tough boxes. "Ah, party time! Hurry up feebs, we ain't got all day. Places to do, things to go." The team reached the plane, setting down the crates. One by one the team opened the boxes for him to see, and each one was filled with large stacks of cash. Cai picked up a stack and rubbed it on his face, grinning. "Ahhh, the crushing and the money... This moment is so great I wish I could have sex with it and make a whole bunch of little baby moments just like it. You, eggheads, put this all on the ship."

Nodding quickly, none of them in a hurry to be the next man Poison tossed from the plane like a bouncer, the team picked up all four of the crates and lugged them aboard the ship. Cai moved in next, pushing the last man out with a sharp kick to the rear before he closed the doors. He made his way to the cockpit where Pretty was waiting, apparently taking over as pilot. Cai sat down in the co-pilot seat and propped his feet up on console. "You know how to fly one of these things? Doesn't matter, lets punch it!"

First time flier Word Lady in a brand new ship? Couldn't be that hard to figure out.

[Pretty Poison]

"You know how to fly one of these things? Doesn't matter, lets punch it!"

Pretty shot Cai a white, feral grin as he dropped into the seat beside her. That was one of the things she really liked about him. He never once tried to stop her doing anything she wanted to. Mind you, the people that DID try to stop her only ever did it once, because they generally ended up dead. But it was a refreshing change nonetheless.

“Not yet,” she replied loftily. “But I will.”

Flipping some switches, she activated the on-board computer, and scrolled through the databanks. Sure enough, there was a comprehensive technical manual, listing all the specifications of the brand new ship and its integrated components. Extending her hand, she brushed the screen with her fingertips. Instantly, the data seemed to turn into liquid, the words literally seeping off the screen and twining up her arm in glittering ropes, as she summoned them to her and absorbed them into her word flesh. In seconds, the screens were blank, every last fragment of information extracted.

Pretty was bubbling over in excited glee. “Better hang on to your hat, Cai!”

Of course, Cai wasn't wearing a hat. Pretty had recently learned that this was a human saying, for when the ride was about to get very rough, and it did not really require any form of headwear. All the same, she was such a literal creature that the lack of it bothered her.

She snapped her fingers, drawing on the matter manipulation power of her CORDIS, and suddenly he was wearing a battered, Indiana Jones-style fedora.  It made her remember when she had summoned him a cowboy hat and he had ridden the spoat back in Dr Samden's bunker.  The memory only made her grin widen even further.

“Now hold on to your hat!”

Having said that, she rapidly activated the launch sequence, set the thrusters to maximum, and powered the ship straight upwards with a wild, reverberating whoop.